Speaking of Hookers...

Sentient Beings vs. The Lizard People

2009-08-04T21:16:00.002-06:00

Now, my point in posting that was not to argue over Republicans and Democrats but to point out the part about the media not having the balls to call nonsense on stuff like this. On the internet broadcast I co host each week we do a lot of calling nonsense on people and we are considered bitches. Today I raised some questions about an event coming up in Enid and I get accused of just causing trouble and being negative. Why does asking questions and expecting accountability make someone the bad guy? Why doesn't the media have the balls to up and say this kind of stuff is bullshit and we will no longer entertain it? What is wrong with good old fashioned blatant honesty???

By Bill Maher, who I think makes perfect sense all the time.

Never underestimate the ability of a tiny fringe group of losers to ruin everything.

For the last couple of weeks, we've all been laughing heartily at the wacky antics of the "birthers" -- the far-right goofballs who claim Barack Obama wasn't really born in Hawaii and therefore the job of president goes to the runner-up, former Miss California Carrie Prejean.

Also, when Obama was sworn in as president, he forgot to give his answer in the form of a question.

And yet, every week, the chorus of conservatives demanding to see his birth certificate grows. It's like they're the Cambridge police, Obama's in his house -- the White House -- and they need to see some ID.

And there's nothing anyone can do to convince these folks. You could hand them, in person, the original birth certificate and have a video of Obama emerging from the womb with Don Ho singing in the background ... and they still wouldn't believe it.

Which raises the question: Why, in this country, is it always the religious right that won't take anything on faith?

So far, the reaction from Democrats is to laugh this off, and I understand why. If you seriously believe that President Obama is an African sleeper spy, get out of your chat room and have your house tested for lead.

But we live in America, and in America, if you don't immediately kill arrant nonsense, no matter how ridiculous, it can grow and thrive and eventually take over, like crab grass or reality shows about fat people.

This flap might be a deluded right-wing obsession that is a total waste of time, but so was Whitewater, and look where that ended up. A handful of Republican operatives, enraged at Bill Clinton's unprecedented economic growth and budget surpluses, found a woman named Paula Jones, which led to a woman named Monica Lewinsky, which gave me enough material to eventually be able to buy a big house in Bel-Air. Which I'm still conflicted about.

More recently we had the Swift Boat allegations against John Kerry, in which Kerry was accused of volunteering to serve in Vietnam so he could jump in front of a bullet so he could get a medal and then throw it away to satisfy his urge to insult real Americans. This was so stupid that Kerry refused to even discuss it.

And we all know how well that worked out.

And once these stories get out there, they're hard to stamp out because our media do such a lousy job of speaking truth to stupid. Vietnam, Iraq and the Spanish-American War were all sold on lies that were unchallenged or even abetted by the media. Clinton got impeached and Kerry got destroyed in large part because the media didn't have the guts to say, "This is nonsense."

Lou Dobbs has been saying recently that people are asking a lot of questions about the birth certificate. Yes, the same people who want to know where the sun goes at night.

And Lou, you're their new king.

That's why it's so important that we the few, the proud, the reality-based attack this stuff before it has a chance to fester and spread. This isn't a case of Democrats versus Republicans. It's sentient beings versus the lizard people, and it is to them I offer this deal: I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.

-Bill Maher

The Lost Highway Tour

2009-08-04T09:43:00.002-06:00

Route 60, otherwise known as 412 to us locals, runs east and west across Oklahoma. It was originally said to be the shortest east-west route from Virginia to California. In our part of the state, it runs through Enid to Fairview and on into Canadian and Pampa, Texas.

According to the Enid's Good Roads Boosters article on Gary Brown's website:

"In the mid ‘20's, the Route 66 boosters in the state took the upper ground in the battle for an eastwest transcontinental roadway through Oklahoma. Enid did not give up the battle, however, and in the late ‘40's, local attorney Harry O. Glasser became active in the U.S. Highway 60 Association and became it’s president in 1947. In June of that year Enid hosted the national convention of the Highway 60 Association and attempted to chart a strategy that would gain prominence for this route over Route 66. The game plan was to divert westward bound truck traffic off of Route 66 at Vinita where US 60 intersected with US 66.

Truckers did not like Route 66 because it had become congested and was not well constructed for large trucks. If successful, Enid would benefit from the increased truck traffic. Geography and Oklahoma politics did not fair well for Enid and it’s Highway 60 plan. Progress west of Enid through remote western Oklahoma proved slow and the Route 66 proponents got their route paved first, thereby establishing it’s supremacy."

So, you see, the highway that runs through Enid was almost the Mother Road.

I have a friend that lives in Pampa, Texas who happens to be an Enid native and we are trying to put together a weekend caravan trip down the Lost Highway. We want to encourage people to load up their families and take a bit of a road trip on their portion of Route 60 between Enid and Pampa, with events being planned at the two major towns in between - Fairview & Canadian - and both Enid & Pampa. Maybe some ice cream socials in the towns in between with some folk music or some such entertainment on each end.

It's not all prganized yet, but we're working on it. This is something fun you can do with your family on a weekend that won't cost you a lot. There's a lot of beautiful scenery along the way and some interesting history, too.

Did I tell you I wrote a book???

2009-08-04T09:29:00.004-06:00

I'm pretty sure I've plastered this all over the place, but just in case you needed to be reminded to pick one up:

With over 100 years under its belt, Oklahoma has not only a very colorful, but also a very haunted history. Ghostlahoma is the only book solely dedicated to Oklahoma ghost stories and it will take you from the very first published ghost story in Oklahoma to spectres of the present day, chilling you with tales of phantom hitch hikers and warming you with stories of "visiting" loved ones. Everyone has a ghost story - even people that "don't believe in that stuff" and the stories that comprise Ghostlahoma were submitted and in many instances, told by, the people that experienced them. So we invite you to join us as we travel through the haunted history of Ghostahoma and we hope you will enjoy the journey.

Do you have a story about a haunted Oklahoma location? Tell us about it!

The NEXT book, Ghostlahoma, Too! will be covering places where you can eat, drink, and sleep ghosts - Restaurants, Bars & Hotels/B&B's.

Paranormal Pajama Party

2009-08-04T09:01:00.006-06:00

Join us for the first Ghost Divas Paranormal Pajama Party August 15th at the Old Johnson House Inn Bed & Breakfast in Hugo, OK. Ghost stories in your jammies, a little Light as a Feather, a little Bloody Mary - good ol' old fashioned slumber party! Girls only! BYOB. $60 includes snacks, lodging, breakfast and a great time! Get your ticket quickly!

Judge Not...

2009-07-31T21:35:00.003-06:00

My eyes are still stinging from the tears and my heart is still heavy as I write this. I just finished watching "The Diary of Anne Frank." There those people were, hiding in a cramped attic for two years, waiting, hoping, never giving up. Anne wrote in her diary that she hoped her words would continue even after she was gone and that she hoped to one day make it to Hollywood. Those things came true, though not quite the way she hoped, and her optimism has inspired countless people.

As I sat here with the tears streaming down my face and thinking about the horrid things people have done to other people throughout history, it struck me that even though people aren't being sent to concentration camps in trainloads and gassed to death, people are still being treated horribly for their differences. It may be something as blatant as a KKK rally or something as subtle as the local newspaper completely ignoring the first Pride event in a small Bible Belt town, but it's STILL happening every day.

What the hell is wrong with people??? How hard is it really just to love and honor each other for being a fellow human being? Why does it matter what color someone's skin is? Why does it matter what God someone serves? Or doesn't serve, for that matter? What difference does it make who touches someone's heart? Seriously? What DIFFERENCE does it PERSONALLY make to YOU? Does it affect your ability to feed your family? Does it affect your ability to sleep at night? Does it affect your ability to pay your bills? Does it affect your ability to serve the God of your choice?

I challenge each and every person that reads this to search your soul and ask yourself these questions. Ask yourself how that person you hate just because they're a different religion than you affects YOU? Why does it bother you that they don't have the same beliefs as you? Why does it bother you that a woman can fall in love with another woman or a man with another man? How does it personally affect YOUR life?

I think if you really, really get honest with yourself, you will find that none of it has a damn thing to do with you and the only reason people pass judgment is because there is something about themselves missing. My guess is it's simple compassion and understanding. I don't want to hear any bullshit "The Bible says" either. The Bible says to love one another. I promise for every verse you can find damning someone for their lifestyle, I can find two telling you not to judge and it's not even my choice for spiritual guidance.

Some people in our community have been discussing how disgusted they were that the newspaper slighted the Pride event and we have been accused of simply wanting drama. The people that say that couldn't be further from the truth. Those people have no idea the very real hurt in our hearts that this kind of ignorance and hate is being practiced in our community. It's not about homosexuality, it's about being humans on the same planet. Plain and simple. It physically turns my stomach that people can stick their heads in the proverbial sand and pretend it's nothing to hate another person. It physcially turns my stomach to hear people say their child can't play with another child because their family is a different religion or because so and so has two moms.

STOP teaching your children to be ignorant and intolerant. Teach them love and compassion for all human beings, not just other humans of the same denomination.

One argument I often hear when talking about intolerance is "You're just being intolerant of my beliefs because I don't agree with you." BULLSHIT. What a fucking cop out. Or people will simply act like they have no idea what the big deal is. Avoidance and apathy are just as wrong as blatant actions. Intolerance is intolerance even if you dress it up with the Bible. It sickens me that something that was meant to teach people values and morals is being used as an excuse for ignorance, intolerance, and stupidity. What Would Jesus Do? He'd be sickened at the perversion his teachings have become.

Again, I ask you to dig deep. Put what you've been "taught" aside and think about how anyone else's life personally affects YOUR life and think twice the next time you come across someone you want to judge. You don't know what their lives have been like, you don't know their story, and you damn sure don't have the right to judge them.

An opportunity and a challenge

2009-04-15T00:40:00.000-06:00

When I was little we used to write letters to people. On paper. With pens. In our own handwriting. There was nothing like the excitement of opening the mail box to find a letter addressed to you or the sadness of not finding the one you were expecting. When we're gone from this world, our children will not have an old sweet smelling hat box to sift through as they sit on the floor with a glass of wine, careful not to tear the aged papers that hold our memories and cry soft, quiet tears over the things that remind them of us. They will not have the experience of wandering through the letters from friends and old lovers and wondering about our lives before they knew us. What will they have? A computer full of emails and photos they can't access without our passwords.

So I challenge you.

Find an old friend and write them a letter and ask them to participate in this with you. Let's leave something for our children to hold onto one day. If you don't know someone you want to send a letter to, email me at oldtimeletters@gmail.com and I will give you an address of someone else that wants to write and receive letters.

Come on - it'll be fun! We've also created a site at myspace - www.myspace.com/oldtimeletters. You can see other people that want to do this and exchange addresses there, too.

Do you relish and long for the days of old when people used to drop in with their calling cards, sipped juleps on the patio together in their finest attire, and exchanged hand written letters? Emails and technology are convenient and wondrous but we can't hold them in our hands and clutch them to our hearts on a warm summer night. Let's revive the art and the excitement of letters.

25 Random Things About Me

2009-04-15T00:38:00.003-06:00

1. I was really, really bitter about my Phillips University experience but miss a lot of the friends I made there and am glad to have reunited with them on Facebook :)

2. I will drive for hours to see something weird or interesting.

3. I love scary movies. I can't find anyone to watch them with me, though. I also love going to the theater alone because then I don't miss anything - I get REALLY irritated when I miss things in movies.

4. I love the Frisco bar, too. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name... LOL My husband has tended bar there for nearly 12 years now. We exchange gifts, go to kids' birthday parties, and go on vacations with the friends we've made at the bar. And it's perfectly normal to us.

5. It does not scare me to spend the night in scary places - in fact, I love it.

6. I was on The Learning Channel once with my friend, Tonya, for a ghost hunting show.

7. My favorite thing to do growing up was to get $2 and go off on my bike. I could eat lunch at Pak-a-Sak and go to the library and spend the entire day finding things to do and it made me perfectly happy. I still like to take a book and go to Pak-a-Sak for lunch.

8. I get really irritated when other people ask me what my plan is. I don't have a damn plan. I'll get there when I get there. That way people can't complain because I'm late :).

9. I love light beer. My current favorite is Moldelo Especial and Landshark - which is getting harder to find.

10. I have tons of books. I have them in nearly every room of my house. I bought books for my kids before I had kids.

11. I am addicted to Real Housewives of Orange County. I love to watch how other people live. I think they're ridiculous, yet I am mesmerized.

12. I want to go back to school but I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I think I've decided to get my degree in history and then I can still go to law school if I decide to later.

13. I am a practicing witch. (that is absolutely a coincidence that is #13, LOL)

14. I have a passion for Volswagen bugs. I have a 1965 one and I love it. Besides my wedding ring, it is my most prized possession.

15. My wedding ring was my mother in law's wedding ring and it meant the world to me when my husband gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago.

16. I would honestly like to build relationships with people I didn't know very well in school now that we're adults and highschool bs doesn't matter.

17. I don't have A best friend, I have several. And they are all truly the best friends.

18. I love to camp and go on adventures.

19. I have co-authored a book am really excited about it. It's called Ghostlahoma and it just came out.

20. I felt like less of a person because I didn't finish college. But then I realized that raising productive, responsible, intelligent citizens was really just as important. Being a mom is not less than being a college graduate.

21. I wish I knew how to play the guitar. I have one, but I don't know how to play it. I also have a mandolin but I don't know to play it, either.

22. My biological father was the president of the Heathens Motorcycle Family in Santa Maria, California. He was shot defending someone and was buried on his Harley - no shit.

23. I love the theater and really miss being involved in it.

24. I have a life sized leg lamp in my living room window - like the one from A Christmas Story.

25. My friend and I have made plans that if I am ever widowed, we will find a big scary house and become crazy cat ladies together and scare all the people in the neighborhood on purpose. We want to have that house the kids dare each other to run up and touch.

Speaking of Hookers...

2009-04-15T00:37:00.001-06:00

I haven't been motivated to blog in a long time, but today I have been a little bit inspired. If you haven't heard, Oklahoma's in the midst of some chaos at the moment. Rather than trying to explain it, I would invite you to look at this blog (http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=30129611&blogId=482361436) - it's a beautifully written account of what's going on here.

Secondly, I heard a story today that made me want to tell everyone that makes excuses all the time to stop! On the island of Kauai Hawaii there was a flood that did a massive amount of damage to the access road that leads to their livelihood - Polihale State Park. Being a tourist driven community, they would have been in dire straits with the loss of income from the park. The government assessed the damages at $4 MILLION dollars and that it would take up to two years to repair. Rather than sitting around waiting on the government to do it, IF the money was available, the community pulled together and did all the work in EIGHT days for FREE. So really, next time you think "oh, we can't do that, that's too hard" or "i just can't" - YES YOU CAN. You can do ANYTHING. You just have to have the gumption to do it.

The City of Enid just settled a lawsuit wherein they are required to spend a LOT of money on making the City ADA compliant and to all the people bitching about it - may you never lose your ability to function normally because you have no idea what it's like and the least the City can do is accommodate people with disabilities, not to mention, it's the goddamned LAW, Assholes!

Now, on with the current events - I have been seeing a doctor in Oklahoma City to try to determine if in fact I have Lupus. I have had the symptoms for several years but until lately it had not really flared up. The last year or so I've had several flares and they are becoming more and more common. Right now they are calling it "connective tissue disease" but I am taking medication that treats only three things: rheumatoid arthritis, malaria, or lupus. I don't have malaria, so... Anyway - there's no definitive test for it, but it's pretty apparent that I do have the Lupus and I'm just trying to get enough rest and take the medicine. I'm looking at seeing a naturopathic doctor as well because I've heard she's had success with other Lupus patients.

I still have two extra kids at my house and that situation is a little chaotic and stressful, but we're managing.

We released the book. I think it's going to do well and we're already starting on the next book or even the third book in the series.

I have some other community things in the works - a couple of fundraisers for Scare on the Square that I've mentioned before, the dodgeball tournament and a pop culture quiz bowl and am trying to put Dillinger Day together. If anyone wants to get involved, let me know.

I think that's about all for now. Carry on.

On a More Serious Note

2009-04-15T00:35:00.000-06:00

I stumbled upon this blog (http://www.racialicious.com/2008/12/21/original-essay-the-not-rape-epidemic/) and it struck a chord with me. Please take the time to read it. It's about "not rape." There are almost 200 comments, nearly all of them relating similar stories. One commenter stated that nearly every woman they know has a "not rape" story. Think about it - it's likely that most of the women you know have one, too. I do. As the mother of young girls, I can only hope to protect my girls from having one of these stories. I would encourage you to read it whether you are a woman or a man and talk to your children - whether they are girls or boys - and make a difference in their lives. If they're girls, let them know it's OK to tell if someone treats them inappropriately and if they're boys, teach them to respect personal space and that when a girl says no, she really means no, even if she's wearing a short skirt. It's absolutely sickening to me that so many women can relate to this story and it's sickening to me how many men laugh off their antics as some normal manly thing to do. As parents and responsible humans, we need to change that with the younger generation.

Important Message Brought to you by Jesus/Jack Black

2008-12-08T13:06:00.001-06:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

What the hell???

2008-10-23T13:25:00.000-06:00

What the hell??? This is what's happening here, in ENID. It's absolutely revolting. A woman was seriously asked to leave an Enid establishment because she was wearing an Obama shirt and had some Obama campaign items with her.
It's one thing to be a republican and totally another to be a repulsive, redneck, piece of shit pig that is too stupid to understand that other people are afforded a difference of opinion and the freedom of speech granted to them by the United States Constitution. Last I checked, the Constitution was not only for white, Christian, male Republicans.
Ignorance is forgivable - it means to not have knowledge about something. Stupidity is not forgivable - stupidity is a conscious choice to be ignorant and that is just wrong.

Revolution afoot??

2008-04-17T08:15:00.000-06:00

If you have ever wanted to do something good for your community but haven't known how you could help, now's a good time to get involved.

About a month ago, the citizens of Enid voted to pass a bond issue that would be paid off in 20 years. The money comes from our property taxes and was going to add about $15 a month to the property taxes to get this thing paid off. We all pretty much felt like that was a doable thing. THEN this week, the City Commissioners passed a decision to pay it off in 5 years instead - that means a LOT more than $15 a month now. They say it will save a lot in interest in the long run. You know, that's great, but that's NOT WHAT WE VOTED ON. We voted on paying it out over 20 years.

The fact that they can make these kind of decisions without bringing it to the people is just wrong. That's called a DICTATORSHIP. They claim that they talked to a vast number of people - bullshit, they did not. They claim they surveyed people. Really? No one seems to have gotten this survey...

People say "well, you should go to the meetings if you don't like it". BS again - in a normal city , maybe. But I've watched those meetings. I've seen people get up and give very impassioned speeches and then the mayor will cut in and say, "You have three minutes". Then when they are done, he grunts and says "Next!". He could give a shit less about anything anyone has to say.

There is a small faction of people that are doing the research necessary to recall the mayor and the city commissioners. I don't know that this has ever happened in Enid and I imagine that's why they get away with it. We have to show them they cannot be shady and lie like that. We cannot back down from their Nazi antics. So if you are presented with an opportunity to sign a petition to recall the mayor or the commissioners, I hope you will take it.

As I mentioned, the research is being done and there have to be a certain number of signatures and then they get presented to the city clerk for authentication and then there has to be an election within like a month. What sucks is that they way I understand it, the mayor's name goes right back on the ballot, so we have to have someone willing to run against him. If no one will run, we get the same crappy treatment we've been getting.

I realize these people volunteer to do this and they may have had good intentions when they went in, but you CANNOT go against the wishes of the people like thay have done - they are why people hate politicians. They are why the city council in Enid is likely to never be trusted again. So please, exercise your civic responsibilities and get these people OUT.

Laundry is the Devil and Other Random Issues

2008-03-11T23:36:00.005-06:00

What the hell happened??? Who came into my house and threw up dirty clothes every where I look? Jeez. Every time I get all excited about having the laundry caught up, I find a pile of sweaty soccer clothes or an errant sock somewhere. I go to take them to the laundry room and discover the hampers full again. I freakin' hate laundry. A lot. Like I would rather shoot myself in the face.

I swore that I would quit telling people my ideas because every time I do, someone steals them and makes money and I just get cranky. But I was just thinking, why don't they make beer in 2 liter bottles? Do you know how cool that would be? I mean, you can get pitchers of beer - a 2 liter would just be like a pitcher to go. That would kick ass. You could put it in the fridge and get as little or as much as you wanted. If you just wanted a few sips, you wouldn't have to open a whole can and then be forced to drink it so as not to waste it. Ima suggest it to someone...

I'm also trying to figure out what maggot crawls into my kids' brains JUST at the time the judges on American Idol start to talk that makes them all four ramble about asenine shit and ask me absolutely pointless questions at the same time. I know they do it on purpose. I think it's a team effort to see if my head will explode. Speaking of AI - DUDE - David Archuleta did not do well and that country version of Eight Days a Week was just creepy.

Which brings me to another thought. People always get mad at Simon. I mean, I get that people don't always like to hear what he has to say, however, he's almost always right. Seriously. if you remove all emotion from the situation (i.e. you got sucked into the contestant's story about her mama died and her baby has penumonia and she's on welfare so you feel bad for them) and look at the facts of the performance, he has an alarming accuracy rate. But people just hate him. I don't get why people are so adverse to hearing the damn truth. I guess the world has become too politically correct and people have just lost all sense of dealing with reality - it has to be all covered up with fluffy bunnies and they have to glitter blown up their ass all day or something. I say this because over at our Ghost Diva blog we get called mean all the time and accused of attacking people. Well, that's just stupid. We tell the truth about things or we call people out for being stupid. My theory is if you don't want to get called an asshat, don't be an asshat. To me, that's really not that hard. It's like people that bitch about going to jail. P.S. - don't buy crack. It's not that hard.

I guess some people are kind of freaked out or maybe even put off at my bluntness sometimes, but for one thing, I really don't know how to bullshit well enough to express it any other way than the way it is and I'm OK with that. I don't mind not knowing how to kiss ass and be fake. I take that back, I know how to kiss ass if I have to, but it's REALLY, like physically painful, hard for me. Sometimes if you mean what the fuck, you have to just say what the fuck, you know? What's the point in saying "oh my gracious" other than to simply not offend someone else? It's not like I say it at church or something. Sheesh. My point is I wish people would a) lighten up and b) deal with the truth in real words sans glitter up the ass.

Carry on.

(I'm serious about that 2 liter beer bottle thing...)

Speaking of Hookers...

2008-03-11T01:32:00.003-06:00

OK, OK, so I have been AWOL for a while. I apologize. I say that like I have readers, lol...
Anyway, things have changed a lot over the last few months. I left my job in November for financial reasons that caused a lot of stress and I got in a huge funk for a while and didn't want to talk to anyone or write, but I'm over it now. If you recall, I left my job that I dug back in March of last year to go to this other job and well, it wasn't the best decision I ever made. However, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so I know things will work out OK. There is actually a chance that I may be going back to aforementioned job that I liked in the near future and that would be great, even if it's just doing some contract type projects for a while. I loved that office and I truly enjoyed my boss and thankfully, he was very gracious when I met with him to tell him he told me so. Instead of saying, "yeah, I told you so," he told me a story about something similar that happened to him, so he understood my situation and he was like I said, very gracious and kind.
As always, I have too many ideas sometimes and one of the latest ones has lead to another little business venture. I am a "red dirt" fan and it relates directly to that lifestyle of music. I say lifestyle because it's not so much a genre as it is an attitude. It's about not selling out and being true to yourself and being real. Generally the kind of music that falls into that category is a cross between country, rock, folk and blues. It's hard to put a label exactly on the kind of music it is because one song might sound like an old Hank Williams tune and the next one might rock your socks off. Anyway - I became friends with one of the guys that plays at a local bar here and his girlfriend and I had this idea that I pitched to her and she liked it, so we're starting a line of tshirts and other various apparel items geared toward female red dirt fans. I'm not going too public with it yet until I actually have a product in my hands, but it's in the works and I'm getting excited about it.
It feels good to be hopeful and excited again.
My husband won a trip to Cancun in April and THAT is also extremely exciting. We're talking about doing the zip line through the jungle thing. I figure after living through that whole ropes course thing, I can hack it.
It also seems that there are some folks that want my friend and I to speak at some up coming conferences in the fall. One is in Las Vegas and one is in Philadelphia and is directly linked to a TV show on A&E, that ought to be fun. Some crazy people also saw fit to give us a radio show on Para X radio, so that will be interesting and maybe even somewhat entertaining. We start that this Wednesday evening.
So, life seems to be getting back to normal after a very long time of sucking and I am so thankful for that. I was beginning to wonder...
P.S. - I hope David Archuleta wins American Idol this season.

Dance, Monkeys! Dance!

2008-03-11T00:49:00.000-06:00

So, I lived

2007-09-16T18:23:00.000-06:00

I know at some point I posted that I was applying for the Leadership Greater Enid thing, but I don't remember if I ever said anything else about it. My application was accepted and the first big thing was this weekend. We left yesterday morning and headed to Camp Redlands by Stillwater to participate in some team building stuff and a ropes course. The morning was the typical warm fuzzy getting to know you stuff and it was fun. But there was one exercise that made me want to shoot people. We already knew about my lack of patience, so that wasn't a big surprise, lol.
The afternoon brought the ropes course. I was fine on the ground but when I got up there - yeah, not so much. I had to climb up a pole which wasn't as easy as it looked, then had to walk across a log (way up in the air, by the way). Then I had to climb up to a small platform and walk across a cable while holding on to cables on either side of me. Um, that sucked. A lot. They were flippin' wobbly and I was thinking I would never make a good Indiana Jones at this point. So here's where I became terrified. I was shaky which just made the cables shaky. I made it across that and then the next one was even worse. It was loops made of cables that we had to step across, so you get one foot out there on one and one foot behind you on the other and let's just say, I didn't think my legs would split that much. Jeez. That one was the worst and about half way through it I was ready to bail. But I was thinking to myself, "I cannot quit. I have had 4 babies. I have spent the night in haunted prisons and tuberculosis sanitariums. I can do this. Plus, I can't tell Marty I quit." So I caught my breath and went to the end. It was freakin' MISERABLE. The instructor asked if I wanted to come down. Fuck yes, I wanted to come down. But I said not yet. So the next thing was another log, but it was on an incline, so you had to walk up this log and at the end, jump across NOTHING to another platform. Did that. Then the last thing was a cable that you had to go across sideways while holding on to some flimsy ass ropes. I just closed my eyes and went. I opened my eyes and thought, wow, I am as high as the trees. It was pretty cool, but I was still dying. I got a few feet from the end and my guiderope felt like it was stuck and I was like, crap, I'm at the end and can't go anywere, but I made it to the last platform where they unhooked me and hooked me up to a zipline. He said, "OK, just push off whenever you're ready." HA. I wasn't ever going to be ready to bail off of a platforrm 30 feet in the air. Was this guy new??? So I sat there for a minute, glad I hadn't once uttered the F word or wet myself, closed my eyes, and bailed off and went zooming off into the trees. WHEW. I shook for like an hour after that and was seriously fighting the tears because it was THE most horriffic thing I have ever done. But I was glad that I did it. I would have been so mad at myself if I hadn't. Plus Marty would have given me shit, and that was a big motivation :).
So for the warm fuzzy what I learned from this - that no matter how much I think I just cannot go one one more inch, I can manage to eke out more. Hell, now I've had babies AND completed a ropes course. I'll take having babies over the ropes any day. Without drugs even.
It was nice to have some of my friends and my dad there encouraging me. I made the comment that had it not been for them I wasn't sure I would have made it. I guess that's the whole point - to trust people you don't know, but I don't know that I could have done it. A lot of the people there didn't know anyone else, so I felt incredibly lucky to have people that loved me there, let alone people that I knew. Everyone was like "you did great" and all that and I was thinking yeah, if you call shaking like a leaf and wanting to cry like a little girl great, OK. Someone made a comment to me about me having a lot of self confidence and I can tell you that up there I was feeling about as unconfident as I ever have. I wish I hadn't freaked out, but it did refresh that mind over matter is what it's all about. That's something I preach and try to live by, but that stuff more or less goes out the window when you're 30 feet in the air hanging on to wiggly cables.
After all that, we had dinner together and then several of us went out for drinks and to watch our Pokes get their asses kicked. Suffice it to say it was a long night and way too much fun. And way too many drinks.
We had a speaker this morning and it was good, but I was SO tired and sore. I have sore muscles in places I didn't know I used. Plus, after staying up so late, I couldn't sleep, thus I was exhausted today. We got home and I crashed for about 6 hours.
I had a good time, met new people, made some new friends, and challenged myself to do something I didn't think I could do. The whole thing was a challenge on a lot of levels - you have no idea what you will do in that kind of situation until you are smack in the middle of it. I'm glad I did it.
We were encouraged to journal about it, so there ya go.

Wanna be a pin up girl?

2007-08-24T22:14:00.000-06:00

So, it's not enough that I already have too many ideas and projects, I had to add a new one. I want to take pin up girl photographs! They're smart and sexy and every size woman can be a pin up girl. I believe it would be very liberating and a great boost to the self esteem of a woman to see herself as a beautiful pin up girl!

Super Nanny can suck it.

2007-08-20T21:59:00.000-06:00

I came home tonight to a kid throwing a fit and acting ridiculous. I sent her to her room and she finally went after SEVERAL times of telling her. Then a second one started. She was telling me no and being a general smart ass and when I told her to clear off the dining room table, she threw it all on the floor and said, "There, it's clear." I sent her to her room, too, and she ignored me. I threatened to get the paddle. She said, "Well, can you just spank me and not make me go to my room? Because I'm not going to learn anything by going to my room, so just spank me." I said absolutely not. I made them eat dinner in their room and they spent the entire evening in there. At one point one of them was telling me that being in their room was fun because they had videos and could color and play. So I decided I had to do something to make my point. So this is what happened:
There were only two cars that drove by but she was HORRIFIED and telling me how mean I was. We went in and she apologized and told me she loved me so much and was sorry so much and said she wouldn't do it again. I told her she says that every time and she swore THIS time she really wouldn't. So we'll see. The other one was the one that really deserved it, but she had fallen asleep. She woke up for a minute and this one told what she had to do and she got all crappy and said well, SHE wasn't going to do it. If it hadn't already been dark, I would have taken her sleepy butt out there, too. I'm telling you, I DO AND DO AND DO cool things for my kids and these two have absolutely no concept of appreciation or gratitude at all. They're both very selfish and it's just odd to me because the oldest one is not at all like that. I'm just at the point where nothing I do matters to them, but this seemed to, so we'll see. The one in the picture called me "ma'am" even, lol. I'm NOT a mean mom at all, I'm just at my end with them talking to me the way they do.

Survivor - Aw, man....

2007-07-13T09:08:00.000-06:00

So I got the boot. My watermelon was the least great of all the great entries. I'm OK with that. It was fun while it lasted.

Survivor - Task Three

2007-07-10T10:04:00.000-06:00

So it was really hard finding a watermelon on this god forsaken island, but I did it. It had to represent what we've been going through here on the island and since all I really have is this stash of rum, I thought this was appropriate.

Shitty Blog Survivor - In Pictures

2007-06-27T09:51:00.001-06:00

Enjoy...

Shitty Blog Survivor - Week 2

2007-06-25T16:20:00.000-06:00

Well, dropping coconuts is only amusing for so long. Sooner or later people quit walking under you, so I built myself a nice little tree house. Of course, Nat's is made of bricks and Utopia has rabid sea turtles guarding hers, but mine is cozy nonetheless. Utopia made a mango radio so we could listen to Shitty Blog Radio. It sucked ass. They didn't like our slogans so much. Stupid? Stupid?? This smacks of the Pot calling the Kettle black, but I'm not bitter... This is SHITTY Blogs Club, not Brilliant Blogs Club, what'd they expect?
I'm glad I'm still here instead of being sent away in the dark on some shitty raft though. I've really grown accustomed to the people here even though a couple of them seem to have flat lost their minds.
I traded Chad some rum and a flash of the boobies for some beef jerky he found. That and Rose's cookies have left me peaceful warm and tired. Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to... oh wait, sorry. I saw Mike writing thos lyrics in the sand and that song's been stuck in my head ever since.
Everyone finally got over being so paranoid and we have begun actually talking to one another and trying to figure out how to do things while we're here. Rose and I are planning a burger dance at the next full moon because Yummy refuses to eat, claiming she's saving her appetite for when she finds that McBurger tree, but you know, I have my doubts that one's gonna work. I may ask some of the girls if they want to be roomies with me in the tree house because I don't think they have much shelter yet, but Monty kind of scares me. She screams a lot. Chad just sits in that trench all day long. Watching. Waiting. I hear noises coming from it late at night. What's he building in there?
Mango is hanging out with Utopia some now and then but spends most of his time chained to that tree. I think she has designs to turn him into her house bitch now that hers was voted off the island. He carries a purse, though, so who knows how that will work out.
Our next task is to tell our story only using pictures. Let's hope we fare better this time around.

Shitty Blog Survivor - Task 1

2007-06-11T13:20:00.000-06:00

That damned Jeckles - He asked if we wanted to take a little boat trip and we blindly jumped right in for a little afternoon jaunt. I should have known we were doomed when he kept singing that damned Gilligan's Island song. What's more, it's stuck in my head now and I can't quit thinking about it. Professor and Mary Ann...Here on Gilligan's Isle....
So we're here on this island now and frankly, I'm a little nervous. Monty was looking at me like a juicy steak and a big baked potato with butter dripping down the sides so I had to hide. We haven't even been here that long - sheesh, you'd think she wouldn't be starving quite yet.
I already know I'm gonna have to make friends with Mike because he knows how to fish and stuff.
We haven't seen Jeckles since we got here. I'm pretty certain he's found my trunk full of candy bars and Dr. Peppers and is hiding somewhere, giggling like a little girl.
Anyhoo - the first task is to come up with a new Shitty Blog slogan. I have until Tuesday. I'm sitting up in a coconut tree so these rat bastards can't cheat off me.
That cunt, Professor Utopia, is down there building some kind of hot tub. I may have to kiss her ass some, too. But I think she may have used her mind reading thing she built from some sticks and palm fronds because she used "Shitty Blogs Club: Fuck off, we don't like you." I was going to use Shitty Blog Club: Fuck you. But now I'll have to come up with something better. Dammit.
I'm not so good at all this ass kissing, so I maybe I should figure out what I could trade. I managed to retrieve several bottles of rum and hid them last night when everyone went to sleep.
I don't even know all these people. There's some dude with a murse (a man purse for you lay people). He seems OK so far. But you know what they say about dudes with murses - there might be a head in there.
There's this one chic, Nat, I think I might like - she's got great taste in music and wears flowers in her hair. I hope she stays away from that funny plant I saw in the jungle earlier...
Sparky just mills about all the time, sometimes stopping to pick his toes. Not sure what's up with him.
Chad - pretty sure I could win him with some rum. He seems a little cocky, but likes to get his drink on, so we'll see.
I met a girl named Rose and I really like her - we um, have a lot in common. Gotta be careful though. Sometimes the nice ones are the meanest.
Then there's Yummy. She seems sweet, too, but I heard she likes to get naked and sing, so we'll see how this plays out.
I think my slogan will be:

Shitty Blogs Club: We think we're hot shit on a silver platter, but we're really cold boogers on a paper plate.

I know. I know. But don't vote me off just yet...

Chocolate Jesus

2007-05-22T09:24:00.000-06:00

Inspired by Demon.

My anger management class pisses me off

2007-05-17T10:33:00.001-06:00

I've been a little inspired by the Sheeple in Enid that are meeting under the big tent at 7 for their kool-aid.
****************************
You might be a member of the Uptight Citizens Brigade if:

You can't have an adult conversation without getting offended every thirty seconds.

You don't know the difference between someone stating an opinion and someone being angry - just because I have an opinion doesn't mean I'm angry - jackass.

Your whole world comes completely undone if someone utters a remotely profane word and you immediately have to seek religious counsel about it.

Nothing bad ever, ever happens in your world because you are a Shiny Happy Person with blinders on that follows the crowd and you would gladly take a cup of the kool-aid if it meant maintaining the peace and anyone that dare comment on the state of the world is just a big meany head.

You think Harry Potter is the work of Satan.

You think Jerry Falwell was a stand-up guy. Those tellytubies are queers, by golly, and it's about time someone said so.

You will gladly allow the government to walk all over you because you have no voice at all to tell them to get the fuck off.

You would rather sit back and call people names for standing up for what they believe in than get off your ass and actually have a cause.

Shitty Blog of the Month? Moi?

2007-05-16T21:26:00.000-06:00

Thanks to you three people that made this possible! I love you.

Can't wait for Shitty Blog Survivor.

I've done it!

2007-05-16T21:25:00.000-06:00

I have proof that I have raised a well adjusted, independent thinking, intelligent child.

I saw a book on the kitchen counter last night titled "Harry Potter and the Bible" - it talked about the unhealthy fascination with magick [occultism] and how Harry Potter was against the Bible. Of course I wondered where it came from and Marty asked Bailey and she said a kid in her class wanted her to read it - she is a Harry Potter FANATIC. So I thought, OK, I will let her read it and make up her own mind and not say anymore about it. So this morning I asked her if she was reading it and she said, "No. I'm taking it back to him. I thought it was stupid on the first page." Thank God.
This evening she was saying that he had originally brought it to another girl in her class - the one whose mom won't let her child be at my house if we're going to be watching that Evil Harry Potter Business and the one who was told at my child's birthday party she had to come home if they started playing any Harry Potter stuff. The woman saw the words "Harry Potter" on the cover and wouldn't let her daughter read it - even though it's exactly what she's been preaching all along, she didn't even take time to see the "& the Bible"part of the title. DUH. Anyway - Bailey has been going to church with this family for the last couple of months and I was OK with it as long as they weren't preaching that stuff at the church, she said they weren't. So she tells me this woman said that if you go to church you can't believe in magic. I said, "Bailey, you can believe anything you want to, don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't believe in." And she said - wait for it - "I know, I don't listen to idiots." Thank God. My child is brilliant.

I don't want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me.

2007-05-02T00:36:00.001-06:00

So we watched The Departed tonight and that was the first line of it and I thought, "Exactly. I'm totally using that."
Marty was giving me shit about my involvement on the Enid newspaper message board because I am, um, "outspoken" against some of the current city issues. I asked what if I ran for City Council and you would have thought I had just danced naked in the front yard or something. Just because I am outspoken and stand up for what I think is right and get a little passionate about it does not mean I am a total social retard. I am able to voice my opinion without cursing and throwing a temper tantrum, thank you very much. Why are opinionated people threatening? Why are we seen as mean or crazy? Are we all just supposed to be drones that sit back and say, "OK, run over me. No, really, it's fine." I'm not mean [notice I'm conceding a little to crazy].
Without passion, what's left? Anger? Bitterness? Where does that get you? I don't want to be angry and bitter, I want to be passionate and I want to stand up for what I think is right. What I don't understand is people that don't. I have started calling them the Sheeple. I decided a great t-shirt would be a picture of a bunch of stick people under a tent on the front that says: Welcome, Sheeple, to the Flock. Then on the back, the picture would be a pile of stick people and it would say above it: Membership benefits include free kool-aid. Because if you're just gonna sit back and let people screw you, you might as well drink the kool-aid.

The Reinvention of the Feared Jamaican Voodoo Posse

2007-04-19T11:17:00.000-06:00

Christina, my college roommate, will remember this, no one else probably will, but there needs to be a reinvention of the Feared Jamaican Voodoo Posse. Our mantra was "We are evil, you must die." Some of you will get it, others won't. I'm betting the gun toters and the ones married to rockstars with fears of aliens will. Although, you can't be a member of the Feared Jamaican Voodoo Posse and keep your shit locked in the attic, hooker. What good does that do ya during a home (or alien) invasion?
I agree with Smart Bitch's blog. If we all packed heat, there would be a lot less senseless shootings in the world because people would shoot back. BUT on the other hand, if I carried all the time, I would be liable to just shoot someone in the face when she looked at me stupid and told me my two year old was hurting her ears in the department store, so I don't know if that is such a grand idea. Ya'll know me and my tendency for hissy fits, so I don't know that having a firearm handy is really smart in my situation. I do think it would curb people just out and out being stupid though. Because as it stands, people just have some stupid stuff come out of their face sometimes and if you were able to just pull a handgun on someone every time they said something stupid, I bet there'd be a lot less of that. Not shooting them, just pulling it out, that would be enough to make someone think twice.
OK, I don't know why I am in a particularly violent mood lately. That's a lie, yes I do.
Last night I almost lost my mind on my children. I took all 4 of them to Wal Mart (stupid) and they just kept touching things. We went through a drive through and the three year old always decides that's the opportune time to SCREAM, so I gave up and didn't get to order myself anything, then when we got home, he stole the 10 year old's cinnamon crisp thing so she chases him down to get it back, she gets mad at him, and chunks it on the floor, breaking it into a million tiny pieces. On the floor that I just paid someone $65 to clean my house all day. I came unwound. Why do brilliant children become retarded like that? Is it the fast food? Maybe. Yeah, I know, I may feed my kids crap but they go on cool trips and stay in haunted hotels, so it makes up for it.
Then today I am trying like hell to find some guardianship papers I typed up, can't find them anywhere, so I call the court clerk and ask if I can come get a copy of the file. She says no, only the attorney can. I tell her it's Jennifer's case. She says Jennifer has to come copy them. I tell her I TYPED THEM in the first place, I just don't have them anymore. No. Jesus. Whatever. That has contributed a bit to my violent mood. That kind of crap crawls on me. I cannot come over and get a copy of the papers I myself personally created that I bet my name is even the notary on. RETARDED.
So, Amanda, that is why I did not leave a comment on your blog, I had too much to say.
So who's in for the Feared Jamaican Voodoo Posse? Monty?

I done lost my mind

2007-04-11T17:06:00.000-06:00

So there has been this ongoing debate over some things that have been going on in my city as of late and some people just went and done pisseded me off.
I have been very vehemently opposed to this new ordinance that the city council passed - um, without a vote of the people - and some people have been retarded enough to say things like "if you don't like it here, move". OK, fucktard. Then someone made a comment about the bridge being out STILL and some other jackass made a comment like "so, go around" to which someone replied there was a sign placed by the CITY on the alternate route that you could NOT use that street either and they were rightly irritated by this so yet another Bertha Better Than You said "The city cannot do anything you approve of huh????"

RIDICULOUS. YES. SOME OF YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIDIULOUS and I seriously wonder how you make it through a day in Leave it to Beaver Land. I am SO happy that you have no issues whatsoever with this ever so lovely little burg we all call home. I cannot believe that you think it's OK that we have potholes the size of a small village. I cannot believe you think it's OK that our own fire department broke a flippin' bridge. I cannot believe you think it's OK that NOTHING has been done to fix it at all. I cannot believe you think it's OK that there's actually a sign up on Oklahoma that says traffic from Randolph is NOT ALLOWED on Oklahoma - yeah, there really is, so NO YOU CAN'T GO A DIFFERENT WAY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE????? You say go do something about it. What are we supposed to do? We're apparently not allowed to freakin' VOTE on these things - things are decided FOR us, not BY us. Then when we say we don't like it, we get called complainers. CRIPES.
So tell me please, what shall we DO about the potholes, the bridge, and various other things we are unhappy about? I watch the council meetings. I watch people go up there and talk and I watch the mayor say things like, "Well, I hear what you're saying Mr. So and So and we'll take that under advisement" in their condescending tone. Yeah, people will jump right on that.
We live here because of things we obviously like or even love, but we DO have the right to talk about the things we don't like. If you don't want to hear it, don't listen or don't read it. You have the right to respond, too. But you know what. You DO not have the right to tell us we should move if we don't like it or that we need to shut up about it. You do not have the right to tell us we're wrong because we're voicing our concerns for our community. If you are happy with the fact that your city government is running smack over you, good for you. Sit back and let it happen. But do not tell us we should.
Some of you asshats make me want to shoot myself in the face.

Something wicked this way comes...

2007-04-06T14:15:00.000-06:00

Yep - I help put this together and have been a speaker at the last two. We're not quite as weird as trekkies, but it's still a good time. This year we have some great speakers lined up. One of them is Troy Taylor, author of over 40 paranormal books, parahistorian (studies haunted history), and all around great guy. He's very funny, too, so that helps. The other one is still being kept a surprise until we have confirmation, but he will also be exciting.
The City of El Reno and the Cheyenne-Arapaho tribes are getting very involved and are looking to make this a community event. I wish my town wasn't so stuck in the Bible Belt and would wake up and realize that people like scary haunted shit and would pay to see it so we could stuff like this here.
Anyway - tickets will be very affordable and if you are into history at all, you won't want to miss this one.

New Mexico - the Land of Enchantment

2007-04-03T14:53:00.000-06:00

So my friend and I took our daughters on a road trip for Spring Break and we decided to go to New Mexico. We stayed at the historic Eklund Hotel & Saloon the first night and then traveled on toward Taos.

Part way there, we came upon an adorable little town called Cimarron and decided to look around. There was a storm coming in and the locals told us we really should just stay there and not try to make it to Taos because the storms in the mountains can be pretty treacherous. We had no idea where we were really and then we saw a sign that said:

Now, the St. James Hotel has quite a haunting history. There are 26 documented deaths at the hotel and it was a wild and rowdy saloon of the true Wild West. We had no idea where this place was and we certainly had no idea we would run across it on our adventure. Both of us being ghost hunters thought it was pretty cool that we found it totally by accident. I was also excited to learn that Wyatt Earp, who my youngest child is named after (that's right, wanna make something of it? Wyatt Earp was a badass and "Doc" is not a good name for a child), stayed there on his way to Tombstone. We checked in and then spent the rest of the day wandering around Cimarron soaking up the Wild West history. We ended up at the Cimarron Cemetery and it was fascinating. It was obviously very old. There were three guys there with all kinds of camera equipment and we figured they were ghost hunters, too, but it turned out they were filming a documentary about the St. James and they were doing a segment on the ghost stories and asked if we'd be interested in making some comments for it, so we said sure. We found the headstone for Davey Crockett's nephew, who was gunned down at the St. James.

That evening, it turned out that our room was directly across from the bar, so we decided to have a few cold beers. While we were in there, we watched the video of the stories about the St. James. And then we met Duane.

Duane was a Cimarron local and he knew all the stories and apparently spent a lot of time in the St. James and had played the cowboy ghost in the video we had watched about the hotel. He was the real deal cowboy that worked on a ranch. He was there with his friend, Gary, and they asked the bartender if they could take us up to the poker room. They said yes, so off we went to the room where many a gun was drawn and even where the hotel was lost in a poker game to a TJ Wright. Wright was shot to death shortly after winning the hotel and he is said to haunt Room 18. It's locked and they won't let anyone in, not even staff. We tried. They won't budge. We did wander up there and knock on the door and just as I knocked, the clock chimed and we went running down the hall like scared little girls. It was quite comical. Anyway - back to the poker room. We went in and sat down and played a few hands of poker until the bartender came up and said it was closing time, so we went on to our room for the night. But not before Duane told us to go check out the hanging tree. He said it wasn't included in any of the historical stuff or the tours or anything and not everyone even knew about it, but that there was a hanging tree with a foundation built around it and steps leading up to it. He said we would have to get permission to get on the land where it grew and he told us where it was located. The next morning, we drove to where he told us and lo and behold, we saw it and there was woman outside that agreed to let us in the fence to get a closer look:

We headed on to Taos. The mountains were glorious and we got stuck in a crazy hail storm and witnessed lots of snow on the top of the mountains at Eagle's Nest. Taos was nice and we went to lots of neat little shops and ate at Michael's Kitchen which makes the biggest cinammon rolls I have ever seen. After a day full of driving in the mountains and shopping, we headed back to Clayton and stayed at the Eklund again and headed back home the next morning. It was a great trip and our kids will remember it forever. We're planning a ghost hunting trip back to the St. James sometime around the end of May.

Shitty Blog Survivor

2007-03-29T21:01:00.000-06:00

So there's this game called Shitty Blog Survivor. Last year's winner explained it to me thusly:

"Here's what happens: Jeckles gives us some fucked up tasks (like take a picture of yourself wearing 50 items of clothing-or naked...making up a Shitty Blog Survivor song AND singing it...what else did we do? OH, the Scavenger Hunt!). Then either Jeckles or a panel of "judges" gets to grade how well we did on our tasks--the lowest score (or actually, whoever Jeckles wants to pick) gets booted off the Island.

If you don't complete a task, you get booted off the Island.
If you piss Jeckles off enough, you get booted off the Island.

Mostly he just makes the shit up as we go along. More fun that way."

SO... if you think you can hang, please come sign up to play. If we don't get enough players, they won't let the rest of us play. So get on it.

Heads up

2007-03-28T13:30:00.000-06:00

Beautification Nazis

2007-03-22T10:26:00.000-06:00

So my city decided to pass an ordinance to punish the people who keep junk cars in their yards. OK, I'm all for that, but they have decided the fashion in which they are going to do this may include jail time of 60 days. Yes, these hardened criminals may have to go do time in the big house for violation of this ordinance. We won't have room for the drug dealers and the meth heads, but by God, those evil junky car owners will not be free to roam the streets of our fair city anymore! We are putting our foot down and showing them we will no longer tolerate this insanity and this scourge which is sweeping through the streets of our little burg, ruining it, I tell you!
The supporters claim that it will keep small children from playing in these junk cars and dying when they get locked inside. Apparently that happens a lot. Never mind the drug dealers that are selling meth to our junior high kids. That's minor, really, in the grand scheme of all the junk car deaths I guess. They claim it's making our city look bad. Really? I thought it was all the empty businesses and the trashy houses and yards that were doing that. I guess this junk car thing fits in with the trashy yard thing.
If you really just have some shithole of a car sitting on blocks in your front yard with grass and trees growing through it - yes, make them get rid of that. But they are also talking about cars in peoples' back yards. Where other people can't even see.
Why am I up in arms about this? Because I have a car that sits in my back yard. It's a 1965 VW bug that I am working on restoring and I love it. It is one of my most prized possessions. I own it and I own the property on which it sits and I will be damned if some jackass will make me move it. I can't even get city water - they sure as hell aren't going to tell me what I can have on my property, especially when you can't even see it from the street.
It's also a sore subject with me because we recently had a bridge collapse because a fire truck that was too heavy drove over it. They kept driving - didn't even go back - and they saw it happen. Besides the questions that in itself raises, the city says it will take 6 months to fix. Bullshit. Thousands of people a day drive that street - me included because it's on my corner - it is necessary that it be fixed immediately, it's a major thoroughfare in this town. They don't have the money to fix a bridge, they don't have money to get stray dogs off the street, but they can afford to tow all these junk cars and then throw people in jail.
OH - and businesses are exempt from this junk car thing apparently. Hmmm... makes you wonder who the city is really working for - the citizens or the business owners. Methinks it ain't so much the citizens....
Whatever. This is the stupidest thing the city has done in a while.
Don't get me wrong, I want to see Enid beautiful, too. I just think there are other ways to go about it. They have been a bit Nazi-ish lately and it's getting old quick. I think I already told the story about them saying they were going to demolish a house because it needed new siding - yeah, they really did. There's a difference between trying to enforce codes and keep your city clean and infringing on peoples' rights and property. There just is, and the city hasn't figured that one out yet.

Southern Fried Jazz in the Woods

2007-03-19T20:46:00.000-06:00

I happened upon a wonderful musician on MySpace about a year ago. I listened to her stuff over and over and had one of her songs on my profile and bought the CD which I have also listened to over and over and even my kids love it. Her name is Datri Bean and she plays what she calls Southern Fried Vintage Jazz. If you know me, you know I love anything southern and fried, LOL. Anyhow - she was out on the west coast so I have never been able to see her but she is going back to Austin and has a show in Missouri next month and I sent her a message asking when she might get closer to Oklahoma. She said she could do a house concert, where I invite 30-40 of my closest friends and charge a cover and she plays a concert for us. SOOOO....
Friday April 20, 2007 at 8 p.m. we will be having a Southern Fried Jazz in the Woods concert out at Springwater Ranch [my parent's super cool log home in the woods]. Tickets will be about $12 each and it's BYOB. Bring your blanket and lawn chair - it's outdoors - and enjoy an evening of sittin' on the front porch drinkin' sweet tea jazz music with us. Message me if you're interested in buying tickets and for directions.
And let me add this - Enid rapper Infamous taught me a lesson about music - If you don't like all music, you don't like music at all - so even if this isn't something you normally listen to or buy, I bet you'd enjoy it anyway. Music all says the same thing, just in different languages.

Good times. Good times.

2007-03-14T21:17:00.000-06:00

Saturday we decided to make a trip to OKC to see Charlie Robison at the Wormy Dog. Thankfully, no one went to jail. It was a good show and we had a good time. But I did almost get into it with these cutesy college girls. We had been standing in our spot close to the stage since an hour before the show and about an hour in, this gaggle of too-cute skinny bitches pushed their way through. I put my arm out and politely told them they were not going to push their way in front of all these people that had been standing there so long. OK, so it wasn't really polite. It was more like ghetto mama. I figured they may be cute and young, but I had a lot more weight behind me so I figured I might win. They just sucked. There were a couple of other girls standing next to me and they were pissed, too, and eventually after smushing up against everyone for a while, the skinny bitches moved on to get in some other peoples' space. They shoulda got there earlier if they wanted a good spot, stupid bitches. They were all "we're all here to have fun, honey" Mmm hmmm. And I was here first so have your fun behind me, hooker.
My friend, Sherry, drove up from Dallas to hang out with us. My sister, Amanda, and our friends, Keith and Grant came, too. The summer I was 18, my summer job was to babysit Grant - he was 10. This was my first experience at hanging out with Grant as an adult and it was fun, he's a good guy.
He blogged afterward about what a good time he had and how he realized the importance of good friends and surrounding yourself with good people. He's right on. I learned quite some time ago that I just don't have time for people that suck. I want postive, smart, kind, funny people around me and I pretty much tend to stay away from those that aren't at least one of the above. Jeff, you fall into the smart and funny categories, kind and postive not so much all the time ;). By the way, Marty said that you said you had a good time last time you hung out with us at the Wormy Dog. DUH. But don't expect any more of that fancy dancin'. Beer soaked floors and slick bottomed cowboy boots don't exactly mesh...
Anyway - my sister was telling me that her finace asked why the hell we always go see these bands no one's ever heard of. Because they don't suck, that's why. Most bands that you see live sound nothing like they do on the CD. The sign of a good band is when they kick ass in person and sound even better than a studio mixed CD. We listen to a lot of "red dirt" music and follow a lot of the red dirt bands. People ask me what red dirt is and it's kind of hard to explain. It's not really country but it does have country roots and a lot of times country themes, but it often times sounds more rock than country. Red dirt isn't necessarily a type of music, but an attitude about music. Some people have commented on the voices of the singers and I was thinking that it's not the singer, it's the song. Red dirt songs say something. It's about being true to yourself and not selling out. It's about not being a copy cat and singing cookie cutter music just to make people happy. Plus there are some damned good sing along lyrics and they're easy to drink beer to. :) Next up, Jason Boland March 31.

Whew.

2007-03-14T21:08:00.000-06:00

The last couple of weeks have been insane.
We were gearing up for another week of the divorce trial when the attorney ended up having to go ahead and ask the judge to recuse, so we go back to court in April with a new and hopefully more impartial judge. We were also trying to get our office ready so we could move into it and be open for business by Tuesday [yesterday] at the latest. Well, that didn't go exactly as planned...
Some dipshit at Lowe's told us we needed to use oil based paint to paint the concrete floor. What they failed to tell us is that if the concrete is cold it won't dry. So there were were with a very wet floor for at least a few days. Then it rained and the moisture just made it stay wet longer. We finally were happy with the dryness and bought some area rugs - we went to the carpet outlet in Stillwater because they had better prices than anything here, and then when we got home with them we noticed the paint was peeling off the floor. So today I went back to Stillwater and traded the rugs toward some carpet, we're just going to carpet it and be done with it. Last night Jennifer and I laid linoleum in the back room - that was one for the blooper reel. I had to roll on it to get the bubbles out and at one point Jennifer's pants literally fell down. But the floor looks good today, so all's well that ends well. ONG sucks ass by the way. They have been yanking us around on getting the gas tuned on. "We'll be there sometime after 8 a.m." Really? Thanks, that's great. You're very helpful.
We did a lot of shopping for the office so at least it wasn't all wasted time. Tomorrow we will put the carpet down and move in the furniture and we may actually be an operating law firm by Friday. Woo hoo!

Thank God it's FRIDAY and other small victories

2007-03-03T01:22:00.000-06:00

WOW. Today was freakin' weird. We've been in trial for the last two days on a very intense divorce case that I have found myself very invested in as I've worked on it for a year now and become friends with the client. It's really very sad because he didn't want a divorce, but she was having some issues with her mental stability and he just wanted her to get help, but it has now snowballed into an all out sticky custody battle. I sometimes refer to it as the Viva Las Jesus divorce because at one point she was hearing voices and had some demonic cleansing done on her house and well, I just thought the whole thing was bizarre. We have two court ordered psychological reports that say she has issues yet we are having to fight our asses off for this one. I say we - I mean the attorney. I'm not actually up there fighting, I'm quietly and madly taking notes and biting my tongue. I can't say anything because I'm not a lawyer and it's probably a good thing because if I were and I had license to say something, I would be saying a lot of shit and probably be in trouble a lot. So for the last two days here we are and the attorney is presenting this case and we are getting objected to right and left and the judge is interjecting his impressions and opinions and it finally gets to be so much today that the attorney had to ask him to recuse right in the middle of the trial. So of course it went to "chambers" and we vacated the court room while they worked all that out. For those of you that may not know the processes that go on in a courtroom, asking a judge to recuse means asking the judge to remove himself from the case. This is a small town and this attorney will have to practice in front of this judge for the rest of their career so this is a pretty gutsy and insanely difficult decision to make - one that would make you sick to your stomach to think about. So as I am packing up our stuff and am out in the hall, my hands were shaking at what I had just seen happen. Stuff like that doesn't happen very often and it was a big deal. The client walked out and commented that it only showed the incredible amount of integrity to do that and I was hoping to God he was right and that the attorney wasn't in there flushing their career down the loo. It turned out that they all talked and she explained our views of it and the judge apologized and it all worked out OK, so onward with the rest next week. WHEW!! He also told her he thought she was a great attorney and that he respected her for that because he knew that could not have been easy for her to do - so that was great that the judge was so cool about it.
In the mean time, I went upstairs to the big courtroom to watch the master at work. They had closing arguments in a big front page rape trial that has been going on all week and I really wanted to see Mr. Jones' closing; they are movie quality, after all. Yeah, he fascinates me and I love to hear him speak to a jury. Closings took two hours and ended a bit after 7 and at 8:30 I got the call at home that the jury was back and it was NOT GUILTY! WOO HOO! I didn't work on this one, but I know they worked like hell on this one and it was awesome to see this man go free because, well, I just thought he was innocent and deserved to get his life back.
I finally got home and I tell ya, I just felt absolutely drained after this week. Worked til 2 a.m. Wednesday then had two full days of courtroom drama and I was TIRED. Will have to work on Sunday to get ready for Monday but at least I get a bit of a reprieve. That business today with her having to make a decision like that and watching all the getting run over today made me really rethink that whole I-want-to-be-a-lawyer thing. It made me wonder if I would be able to pull that off. I guess you do what you have to do when your client is relying on you, though.
I'm gonna miss the office when I leave and I'm going to miss Mr. Jones and his cases. My last day is Friday and I am really not ready for it to be here so soon. I'm excited about the new one, but still a little nervous about it and hoping I made the right decision.

Ruby Tuesday

2007-02-20T22:52:00.001-06:00

Well, today was a lot better than yesterday. I feel a lot more at peace with the decision and I am getting excited about opening a new office. It'll be great - the Margarator is in!
I've been all consumed with the job thing that I failed to mention I got a new car! I got a 2003 Suburban - yep, just a newer, fancier version of a gas guzzling soccer mom SUV. It's white with black trim and more gadgets and gizmos than I will ever need. The heated seats kick ass. There are a lot of things about my old one that I like better, but it was customized so it had all kinds of cool shit - I will miss the pimp lights. We sold it to another mom in need and they will love it. We didn't have to advertise it or anything, it went word of mouth and was sold pretty much immediately after I got the new one, so that worked out well.
The weather is finally getting back to normal again and I am so happy about that - I have been frozen for like three months. So now Tonya and I can start planning some of the Open Road Excursions - woo hoo! Bigfoot Campout, Camping with the Kids, Campfire Ghost Tales, maybe even a Mountain Man Rendezvous - ya'll need to plan on joining us on some of these!
It's also time to start planning RiverDrunk 2007 - Coming to the Nuisance. This is the 10th Anniversary Float Trip so we need some kick ass tshirts. Oh yeah - you all that ordered them last year and didn't get them - I have them and Amanda would like to get paid for them.
It's also about time for this season's Eerie Oklahoma Ghost Town Tour. I added a couple of places and found some new stuff thanks to my soon to be brother in law, Justin. I doubt I can find them again without him :).
All's well here - Bailey will be 10 this Friday. Boy, I'm not ready to have a 10 year old. Makes me kinda sad.
Anyway - I've been distracted with this whole work thing and the damned arctic weather that I haven't focused much on my other stuff lately. We went out Saturday night and saw No Hassle. It's a bunch of guys from Northcutt's and they were pretty good. It was a lot of fun - they do all the great sing alongs - Skynard, Steve Miller, Buffett. Had dinner at Chicaro's and that was awesome as usual. New favorite beer - Franziskaner heffe-weis. It's yummy. Took some fun pictures with my fellow ghost diva, Tonya.
Which brings me to - a producer in Florida asked us to send in a video on a show idea she had and he wants to possibly pitch it to a network. That would be interesting.
American Idol performances started. I dig Sundance, Chris Sligh, Blake Lewis, and Phil Stacy so far. That guy Nick with the dark hair & dimples is pretty cute but forgettable. I love Simon, everyone should be like him.

Monday, Monday, Can't Trust that Day...

2007-02-19T15:49:00.000-06:00

So I woke up with a stomach ache because I had a dream about work and I realized that I needed to shit or get off the pot today regarding the decision making. SJ starts a big rape trial tomorrow and the week after that Jennifer and I have a big divorce trial, and then her last day is the last day of that trial, so I had to make it today. I had decided over the weekend that I am leaving here to go start a new office with Jennifer.
I figured I would have to go in and talk to him or do a memo today to get it out there, but when I got here, April said he was asking her if I had said anything yet, and I told her then what I had decided. No more than 3 minutes later, he walks by and asks her to come to his office and she looked at me and said, "I'm gonna have to tell him when I go in there," so I said OK, what else could I have done at that point? So I wrote my resignation memo and I got really sad and cried, had Jennifer put it in his box, and I went to lunch and cried some more. He got it but he hasn't talked to me about it yet. Once I got past the actual doing it and the "no going back" feeling came over me, I felt better. I'm glad I'm not wrestling with it anymore and it's over.
It's a lot easier to leave a place that you don't like than one you do.
I have really liked working here and I have learned a lot and working with Stephen has been a once in a lifetime opportunity and I am grateful for the experience I have garnered while here. But I need to move on. I need to have a little more latitude and freedom and less drama. Jennifer will let me do the things that paralegals do and I'm excited about that. I'm pretty freaked out at having to set up an office all by ourselves and running it, but we're pretty smart gals, so I bet we can figure it out.

That looks dumb

2007-02-16T23:24:00.000-06:00

So tonight my kids and I are sitting in the food court at the local mall and my very astute 6 year old, the same one that brought us the terms "slerms" [slurpy germs you get from sharing a straw] and "rememberies", says, "Mama, do you think that odd, weird teenagers are dumb?" Then this guy walks by all in black, chains all over, etc. and she says, "He looks all gothic and dumb." As we sit there we see several gangsta wannabes and she says, "There goes that dumb "posse" again." I am cracking up because I didn't even know she knew the word 'posse'. Then she says, "That looks so dumb when they have to walk that way to keep their pants up. I bet their mamas don'tlike buying them those pants that hang around their dumb ankles." And she is saying all this so matter of factly and with such disgust you'd think she was an old lady. She also said, "Teenagers are dumb." I told her she would be one some day and she said, "Yeah but not one that looks stupid and wears my pants all around my ankles." Every time someone she deemed to look "dumb" walked by she would just get disgusted and point and say "Look at that!" like they had horns or something. One day we were going to the movies and there was this guy with a red bowling shirt on with dragons all over it and his hair was dyed the same color red - like Ronald McDonald red, and his little boy had on a blue shirt just like his dads. She looks at me and says, "Mama, they need to be on What Not To Wear." Now, I do teach my kids that looks don't matter and all that jazz, but I love that she does not dig the "dumb" look. My ten year old, however, when I told her the other day that something looked weird, says to me, "Mom, I don't follow trends, I set them." Well, rock on with your bad self in that case. Who am I of all people to argue with that one?

Work.

2007-02-15T22:21:00.000-06:00

So I've been wrestling with a really big decision for the last few weeks. As some of you know, I work at a law firm. Kind of a big deal law firm. I've loved working there because a) my boss is really a fascinating person b) I've been able to work on some incredibly cool cases, including assisting in a murder trial that we won c) most of the people here are pretty nice d) and I've made more money this last year than I ever have. But there's also the thing that annoys me the most - DRAMA. Of course, Stephen is a high drama person, so it can't really be avoided. But aside from the normal drama that surrounds him, everything in this office is a freakin' ordeal. Like the IT guy says to me, "Jesus, why does it have to take 4 freakin' days to buy a backup printer?" Exactly. Why does it? And I can't even count how many times I've come back from lunch or something and gotten this one, "Just a head's up, So and So is really mad about ... (insert something I did, didn't do, was perceived to have done, might have done three years ago)." THAT is the thing I hate the most. Why does everything have to be a big freakin' ISSUE? Like yesterday, someone asked me to go to the courthouse and get a couple of old files. I tell them that because they are so old, they will likely not be at the courthouse and they will probably have to go get them from storage. I also tell them that since one of them is a criminal file, they won't let me check it out, but I can make copies of it. So thinking that was all clear, I go over to the courthouse to take care of it. As I thought, they were not there and I made arrangements with the court clerk to call me when they got their hands on them. She called a while later and said they had them. Well, I had some other things that needed to be taken over to the courthouse, so I sent very detailed instructions with our runner to pick them up, make the copies, etc. Then I went to lunch. When I got back I got a "head's up" warning that the person that needed it was mad that I had someone else do it and that I didn't do it when I was the one told to. UM... OK, why does it matter who makes freakin' copies? I took care of securing the right files, which was the big deal part of it anyway. That is so stupid to me! And it's like that here all the time.
So the decision I have been wrestling with is whether to stay here or go with one of the attorneys that's leaving to open her own office. Who is also one of my best friends. Who is incredibly fun and laid back and will undoubtedly pipe 80's music through the office at all times. Who really wants me to go.
The struggle is because it's scary because as crazy as this place is, my paycheck is stable. Stephen had a long talk with me the other day telling me how much he thought of me, telling me what a great job I did, etc. and that he would really like to see me stay. That meant a lot to me to have him say those things. But I don't know that that's enough because it doesn't really make up for the knots in the stomach every other day because you never know when you're gonna piss someone off.
A friend that is rather intuitive that had no idea about any of this, let's call her Pyschic Pearl, said she was sensing that I wasn't very happy in this office and that I should go with the other person where I would be more in charge and the atmosphere would be a lot more laid back. She also said some other things that were really right on that she knew nothing about, so...
After I talked with him the other day, I was leaning toward staying. After I got another "somebody's mad at you" I remembered why I wanted to leave. I was ready to put the names in a hat and just pick one or have them stand in the hall and draw straws. I just wish I could make a damned decision so I could sleep well again.

Why I gotta be a bitch?

2007-02-12T10:46:00.000-06:00

I am so incredibly done with stupid people.
I am an outspoken, opinionated woman. Why does that make me a bitch? Why does that make me mean? Why can't people have a goddamned discussion these days without getting all torqued up when someone offers a different point of view? Adult discussions consist of just that, various viewpoints on various subjects. An adult can have a discussion with someone that doesn't agree with them and they can still be friends at the end of the day. That's called maturity. It's utterly ridiculous to become catty and hateful with someone just because they don't agree with you. I might call someone out on something or argue to the death about something, but in the long run, I still respect other peoples' opinions if they have any merit to them at all. Now, if they're just being an asshat and their opinion isn't based on any kind of reality or make any kind of sense, then no, I probably won't respect those that are arguing just for the sake of arguing. I'm just tired of people being called mean and insensitive just because they are opinionated. Are people seriously just eternally stuck in 8th grade? God, please take away the stupid people.

Speaking of Hookers, moving sucks

2007-02-09T11:21:00.000-06:00

So I've been blogging for a couple of years now and I finally decided to move away from MySpace. I know, I know, but it's nice to be in the comfort zone of your "friends". I finally got around to going through the old blog and moving a lot of them over here. Some of the better rants are now here along with the diary of the murder trial last year. Enjoy.

Vote

2007-02-09T11:12:00.000-06:00

The BoB Awards are taking nominations...

Code enforcement or elitest snobbery?

2007-02-08T09:44:00.000-06:00

I don't know if anyone caught the story on In Your Corner a couple of weeks ago about the Enid couple, but it seems that the Enid code office contacted this family and told them if they didn't get their house fixed up they would be tearing it down - 9 days before Christmas, mind you.
This family had an agreement with a contractor to put new siding on their house and garage - they met with him three years ago and the contractor told them they would need to take out a second mortgage on their home in order to pay him half of his money up front. They did and they gave him $12,000. Then he never did anything, so here they are three years later, still making mortgage payments and no work has been done.
Now, this house is 94 years old and it does look like it could use some freshening up. But it's really not that bad. There's never any trash in the yard, the yard is always maintained, and there are never any junk cars sitting around. The ONLY thing is that the old shingle siding looks rough. BUT, this house happens to be in a neighborhood on WEST Oklahoma among other houses that are pretty freshly painted, etc.
When channel 4 got involved, the code office changed their tune a bit and said if they continued to make progress they would extend the deadline until March. How very kind of them not to put these people out on the street quite yet.
Let me tell you a little about these folks - they both work hard and are very kind and they have kids. They don't make a lot but they get by OK and they are well adjusted folks as are their children. They tried to take care of the issue three years ago and got scammed by this contractor guy.
It turns out that the contractor has done this to other people and the state is now prosecuting him on several counts of home repair fraud. Did the City of Enid care? NO, the woman went to talk to the code office and ended up leaving in tears because the lady there was so rude to her. They were going to tear down their house because it simply wasn't pretty enough.
A man saw the story and called the family. He is a contractor from OKC and said he had a couple of crews and things were slow, so he was going to come to Enid and fix their house for free. What a blessing!
I was happy to see there were people that were kind and willing to help these people that got screwed by no fault of their own and appalled that their own city would seriously threaten to tear down their house 9 days before Christmas and put them on the street.
My real problem with all of this is that I drive down N. 4th every now & then and can count at least ten to twenty houses in a row that should be condemned, yet they sit and rot and cause an eyesore. I see houses and buildings all over this town that are in awful condition yet they sit and look like crap. This house happens to be in a neighborhood where most of the houses look pretty darn nice. THAT is why I think this whole thing smacks of nothing more than downright snobbery. If it were on the east side in the middle of N. 4th no one would probably even notice because it's a darn sight better than all of those places. It's old siding - that's IT. And they were seriously going to demolish a house because someone's siding doesn't look as good as the neighbors??? That is a crock and I am ashamed that's how Enid operates.
SO - with that said, when these crews come to help fix up the house, they may need some help serving sandwiches or something.

Shit Talking

2007-02-07T12:14:00.000-06:00

I can talk shit with the best of them. Apparently, there's a club for that. Woo hoo!

In Stoops they trust

2006-08-04T22:00:00.000-06:00

WTF??? Ok Here is my anti-OU rant. Back when John Lennon said the Beatles were more popular than Jesus, people freaked out and burned their Beatle records and said all kinds of horrible smack against Lennon, who was NOT saying they were better or more important, but simply that they were more popular amongst the young people at that time. That was the truth - the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. But people acted stupid about it and misconstrued it.
Today in the newspaper (I think it's the Oklahoman) it says on the front of the sports page "In Bob Stoops, They Trust" But since you're talking about freaking OU GODDMANED FOOTBALL, I suppose all the Republican OU Fanatics will think it's damn skippy to equate Bob Stoops to God - the same people whose parents burned their Beatle records because of that damned hippie, John Lennon.
Marty & I have had this conversation several times that OU fans are simply a different breed. There are the ones that are OK and have liked OU always or they went there and they like them for that reason. Those aren't the ones I'm talking about - I'm talking about the ones that have the flags, the flip flops, the tshirts, the shorts, the hats, the schooner in their yard, etc. and put things like 52-9 Eat Shit OSU in decals on their car windows and are only fans when they do well.
At least Cowboy fans stick by their team all the time, not just when they win.
Marty & I went to watch an OSU wrestling match this winter and OU was wrestling that day too. When they announced the OU guys, (which OU does not have a great wrestling team and OSU is number 1 in the country by the way), they would have these swirling spotlights and use these big booming voices to announce the SOOOOOONERRRRS. Everyone else got bunk. GO POKES. Bob Stoops is not God.

Some people are asshats

2006-07-28T22:00:00.000-06:00

Some people are seriously just asshats

So it started with some jackass hacking our website. Then we go to lunch and the waitress is an idiot - she refused to put our tickets on separate tabs and then got mad when we wanted it all split up at the end. She said, "I told you that it was all going to be on one ticket" and we told her "and we told you that we were paying seperate" and she was pissed about it and said it was against their policy to do seperate checks for more than 8 people - what the fuck - one person is supposed to pay it all and collect from everyone else? What about the people paying with credit cards or debit cards? She was just stupid.
So then there are these people on the Enid news message forum that said that moms that work have their priorities messed up because they let someone else raise their children and if they really cared about their kids, they would find a way to stay home - and the scary thing is these are WOMEN saying it. WTF??? Are you serious? Yeah - my priorities are pretty fucked up I guess - that electricty and food we could do without. And the running water - what a waste, we could get by without that, too, I guess. My fancy car? You mean the 12 year old one with the knobs missing - that one? Yeah - I'm way overboard on that, too. Fucking stupid people make me want to poke my eyes out. I have to work - I stayed home for a year and it was HARD and I had to go back to work and luckily I have a job that pays well and I like. Of course I would rather be home, but that is not feasible for my family. I'm sure there are things I could cut back on, but if I were staying home, there would barely be enough to eat on and pay the bills, let alone put gas in the cars. Some people are seriously asshats.

a little bit of heaven. or not.

2006-07-25T19:37:00.000-06:00

So quite some time ago I became very disenchanted with Sonic when they quit carrying Frito Chili Pie. But I guess they have these Frito Chili Cheese WRAPS. I have been scared to try one - who the hell puts fritos and chili in a tortilla, anyway?? So last night I get one and it's really pretty good. It's kind of retarded though because you can't just order Frito Chili Pie, they'll tell you they don't have that. But if you order the Frito Chili Cheese WRAP, it's the same thing, only in a tortilla. I wonder if they would let me order a Frito Chili Cheese Wrap without the tortilla - then what would they do? I went on about my business of going to Wal-Hell and all that before going home and I got bed around 11:30 or so only to wake up at 1:00 with horrid stomach pains and feeling like I was going to throw up. I got up for a while and never got sick so I finally went back to bed and felt fine this morning, but damn, that sucked. I was thinking how happy I was to have some semblance of the chili pie back in my life only to get screwed by the very thing I love...
However, I took my kids to Pak A Sak the other day and two of them got Frito Chili Pie - which we were not aware they had - and they said it was way better than Sonic's anyway. I told you Pak A Sak kicked ass.
And the other thing I don't get - why would a place get rid of Frito Chili Pie but still have the audacity to carry something freakin' called Pickle-O's? What the fuck is a PICKLE-O? Fried pickels? EWWWW. Damn Sonic.

That hot salty taste...

2006-07-17T13:17:00.000-06:00

There's a place in my heart, a place of legends and childhood memories, comforting smells, a place that makes me happy. Pak A Sak.
Is there a place you just love to eat but never get to go there or you like to savor it just for youreself? Any time I am eating by myself, I like to go to Pak A Sak. I did that today and as I sat there in the quiet solitude of my car, I was thinking, "You know, this is one of my all time favorite things to do - eat at Pak A Sak by myself." The only thing that really makes it awesome is when it's nice outside (not freakin' hot like today) and you can go over a block to Government Springs Park and eat there. Pak A Sak is one of those places you can smell like a block away and when you drive by, it's like a magic potion luring you to stop and partake.
I remember when I was younger I would ride my bike all over the place and I loved to go to the library, so in the summer, I would get a couple of bucks from my parents and head toward downtown. I lived on the eastern edge of town, so it was quite a ride. I'd go have lunch for $2 at Pak A Sak (the burgers were 2 for a dollar back then) and then I'd go spend the afternoon at the library. That was a perfect day back then, maybe that's why I still get a warm fuzzy feeling, I don't know. But it's definitley one of my favorite things to do still, but I don't get to very often. And lunch is way more than $2 now. But I did win a drawing one day where I got 7 burgers for a dollar, so I took a couple of friends and we sat outside at the picnic table. Pak A Sak is an Enid institution and I will be sad if it ever goes away - I think it's been here since like 1948 or something. If you ever get to visit Enid, or you come home to visit, or you live here and you haven't been in a long time, go to Pak A Sak and get a bag of happiness.

Law & Disorder

2006-07-12T20:49:00.000-06:00

I have said a million times that we need to have a reality show called "Law & Disorder" where they hang out in the law office all day and show all the funny stuff that happens here. Our office is like Boston Legal - really. This guy sent me a script to read about a law office and seriously, the stuff that goes on here is way funnier - that whole truth is stranger than fiction thing. We have at least one TV worthy moment a day and we damn sure have great characters. I dig my job. Here's a funny scene:

Attorney: I'm from the law office, I'm supposed to get the phone from you.
Man: OK
Attorney: So, how's it goin'?
Man: I think all attorneys are pieces of shit.
Attorney: Really? OK...
Man: Yeah, I think you're all pieces of shit.
Attorney: OK
Man: And you can tell my wife she's a bitch whore.
Attorney: Um... OK
Man: Yeah. She's a bitch whore and you can all kiss my ass.
Attorney: Can I just have the phone?

More Law & Disorder

2006-06-06T20:29:00.000-06:00

Got a funny memo today - thought I would share. First, I have to tell a small story so you'll understand the last part. One of the interns this summer is a high school girl. She babysat for one of the female attorneys that has a 2 year old boy - we'll call him "Sam." While she was babysitting, "Sam" asked her if she had big boobies. Here's the memo. The version we got was typed on SJ's old typewriter in his office by the man himself. You may not get it, but we thought it was hilarious and I know at least a couple of you will enjoy it.

"As you know the current administration is making a list of people to be detained should a national emergency be declared by President Chaney and National Security Advisor Karl Rove. Tonight from 5:30 to 7:00 will be the last opportunity for those of you who are suspect (drive Volvos, political registration suspect, don't support our troops, watch old Jane Fonda movies or buy Dixie Chick dvds) to avoid detention. We are hosting a reception with a light amount of food and drink for Senator _________, one of the two candidates for Lt. Governor (the other is _________) _________ is also general partner for the OKC (politically incorrect) Redhawks. You need not contribute except for your presence. Please feel free to attend, we would love to have you. Please bring picture ID for Atty General Gonzalez. P.S. Women who come, if between the ages of 13 & 65 should avoid Sam."

Houdini MacGuyver Strikes Again

2006-05-26T21:49:00.000-06:00

So a trip to Wal Mart last night that should have only lasted 45 minutes ended up being almost two hours. My two year old, Houdini MacGuyver, will not stay in a shopping cart, no matter how tight I cinch up those crappy "belts". Anyway - we're in the shoe department and he managaes to get out. He puts on a pair of women's black high heels and runs off. I chase after him and he's out in the middle now where all the people are and they are laughing so of course he runs more. I am literally running after him. I have to admit, it was pretty funny. The first time. I get him back to the basket and put him back in and turn around and he does it again. More laughing by new people. I once again retain him. I put him in the basket and put up the shoes and he gets out AGAIN, but this time I can't hear him because he's not clomping in the shoes. So I run after him and find him several aisles over. I am freaking worn out by now as I have been taking things away from him and returning things to shelves as he pulls them off for quite a while at this point.

So about 5 minutes later, there's an announcement over the PA system: "Parents, please make sure your children are buckled securely in the shopping cart." I was like, OH NO YOU DIN'T. So we continue shopping and then my 7 year old comes out of the bathroom bleeding - she caught her toe under the bathroom door and ripped her toenail, so that was a new trauma. We get up to the checkout and I tell the lady, "You know, that announcement about parents keeping their kids buckled up is retarded when your carts suck. These jankey ass belts aren't going to keep a two year old in - he can get out of that in no time. It's hard enough to have to deal with that and then when someone comes on the PA system telling you to keep your kid in the cart, it's insulting. It's not like we let them run wild and enjoy it. I have been here two hours because I've had to keep chasing him because he gets out and I don't need some Wal Mart person telling me to keep him in the cart - if they could figure out how to do it, I would love nothing more than to do just that." She just looked at me and said, "I'll mention it to them." I get so sick of people acting like it's such a fucking inconvenience to them to have a two year old in their presence. HELLO, he's TWO. If I could keep him in a cart and keep him from screaming bloody murder, I would be more than happy to - freaking dumbass people think I enjoy him acting like a lunatic? He doesn't act like that at home and he's good when we go out to eat and he doesn't do that with his dad, so it's not like he's bad - he's actually very good. He apparently just doesn't like shopping so much, lol. I realize that children are expected to behave in public and my kids are well behaved and they aren't all snotty nosed - you know the kind, the ones with snot running out their nose to their top lip and it has dirt in it and they aren't wearing shoes and it looks like they used that shirt for a napkin for their last 47 meals and they grunt because they can't speak intelligently because their parents are neanderthals - at least we're not like that, so get off my ass.

Boycott Chili's

2006-05-25T21:52:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I go to get gas at the quick shop up the street and it happens that there's a four car wreck at the intersection. I get my gas, pull up to the store to go in and pay, and when I come out, there's all this traffic being re-routed through the parking lot. That was annoying enough, then this person stops and then this other guy pulls up next to her and they start freaking chatting. There are at least 3 of us trying to back out and it just ain't happening. We get out and stand there, thinking they would figure out to move. Nope. They continue to block up the whole goddamned parking lot. People are having to go around them and we can't get out at all. Finally, after I had been there for a long time (I was there at least 15 minutes), I holler, "Hey, can you guys please move so we can get out?" This jackass gets an attitude with me and says, "Can you wait a minute?" I say, "No. I've been waiting and I have to be somewhere right now." I had to get to dance to pick up my daughter, who was waiting on me at this point. So then he proceeds to call me a bitch and all kinds of stuff and peels out like a dumbass, like I offended him. FUCKER. Don't block a whole freakin' parking lot and then get mad because someone asks you to move. I even said PLEASE, motherfucker.

THEN - we were meeting some people for a going away dinner for a family that's friends of ours that is moving. She had called CHILI's in the afternoon and told them we'd have a big group and could we have a table that evening around 7:30 or 8. They say yes. So they get there a little before 7:30 and we get there a little before 8. They're still waiting when I get there and it turns out there's another group at the table where we're going to sit. They've received their checks and they're done eating. They've been there since 5. They never make any motions of leaving. Finally, at almost 8:30, we start talking to the hostess and she's sort of apologetic, but not really. She says they might be able to seat us over there - where there was definitely not room, we say no, that won't work. I ask her, "Did you mention to them that there's another party waiting for that table? I mean, they've been here for three and a half hours." She says, "We're not really allowed to do that." I say, "But you're allowed to make us wait for over an hour when someone called today to reserve the table?" Basically, yes. So one of the guys asks to see the manager, who takes his sweet time getting there. He tells him about the situation and the manager says they can split us up and my friend says, "No. We're here for a going away party, we're not splitting up." The manager says we can continue to wait or get split up, and they ask him would you rather give up all this money you're about to make than ask the people that have already paid to move, he doesn't care, so we leave. We go next door to Applebee's and explain what happened and they immediately start getting a place ready and take our drink orders while we wait. We get seated and they bring us several orders of free appetizers since we waited so long at Chili's. Then we proceeded to be treated very well as we racked up a $350 tab for the whole group plus a $50 tip for the waitress. We then went back to Chili's, asked to see the manager, and when he arrived, Justin handed him the receipt (that was really long) and says, "They're having a training seminar next door on how to accommodate people." And he just says, "Um, thanks." And we walk out. CHILI'S SUCKS ASS.

On another note, my carpet is getting cleaned today - woo hoo! Today is the last day of school so I get some more sleep time - woo hoo! And I leave for Kentucky tomorrow for a spectacular ghost hunting experience - woo hoo! And then we have a new person to watch our kids starting next week and I am really looking forward to some changes there - woo hoo! And the float trip is coming up - woo hoo! And Taylor won American Idol - woo hoo! And so far today, I haven't encountered any assholes - woo hoo!

Some People Suck

2006-05-13T21:56:00.000-06:00

As most of you know, I have four kids. The oldest one is 9 and the youngest one is 2 and he's a BOY. My husband works two jobs and I work full time and today he helped a friend at his farm so he went straight there from his regular job. The only time I get to spend with my kids is evenings and weekends and if I have to do anything when he's gone, they have to go with me. I enjoy it usually, but the BOY is hard to deal with - he hates shopping. He climbs out of the cart, he empties my purse, he kicks his shoes off, he screams, just generally actslike an idiot sometimes. Today was one of those days. We were in Penney's waiting for someone to help us with some shoes and these people were talking about how they couldn't believe people would bring all these kids shopping. And they weren't even doing anything except Wyatt, who was just being loud. I would LOVE to be able to shop without that going on, but do you think those people would let me drop them off at their place so I wouldn't annoy the general public with my kids? Fuckers. Then we were at Ross and he was truly being a pain. I took something away from him and he started crying really loud. This BITCH says to me with this crunched up look of disgust on her face, "Do something with that child, he's really hurting my ears." I looked at her completely dumbfounded and said, "Are you kidding me? He's 2! I can't make him stop crying." She gave me yet another shitty look and I just said, "Grow up," and walked away. What a freaking cunt. HELLO - if I could figure out how to keep a 2 year old from screeching at a department store, I'm sure I'd be a damn site wealthier than I am today. The other three children were being well behaved so it's not like they were all being stupid & unruly. I just thought she was an idiot and I was not in the mood for any more bullshit than I was already dealing with. It seriously was a good thing she didn't push it any further or I probably would have been thrown out of the store because I was just in one of those moods. Like I freakin' enjoy for my child to be a screaming lunatic in the store - yeah, I dig it. I wish for it every time we leave the house. Freaking dumbass woman. I hope tomorrow she's in church or a restaurant and one of her kids just acts like a total idiot and embarasses the shit out of her. Or better yet, shoplifts and gets caught. It would serve her right. Stupid bitch.

Here is the Story

2006-04-07T14:25:00.001-06:00

Bautista found not quilty

By Daniel Mathewson,

asst. to editor

ALTUS - A long and terrible year has ended for Melinda Bautista, who was found not guilty by a Jackson County jury Tuesday of murdering 10-month-old Madilyne Wentz in April 2005.

It's a great day for Altus, and the system works, said Altus attorney Glen Dresback shortly after the verdict was read.

The jury of six men and six women deliberated less than an hour Tuesday afternoon following closing arguments in the trial, which began March 20 with a grueling 3 1/2 day voir dire process and stretched on for another eight days of exhausting and emotional testimony.

Clearly, the jury paid close attention to the evidence and the judge was very fair, said attorney Stephen Jones, who had the jury as well as Associate District Judge David Barnett on the edges of their seats during his eloquent wrap-up of the medical records and testimony presented and a scathing rebuke of agents of the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation who had decided that Melinda Bautista was guilty of shaking Madilyne on April 12, 2005, out of frustration and because she had not taken her antidepressant medicine that day.

Jones called the actions of agents Peter Unruh and Melissa Gann, during a two hour videotaped interview April 13, 2005, at the Altus Police Department, shameful, immoral and unprofessional ... an affront to the Bill of Rights.

Assistant District Attorney Stephen Booker laid out the state's closing argument following a reading of the jury instructions by Barnett shortly after 1 p.m.

Booker reviewed the testimony given by witnesses called by the state - from family members of the deceased infant, medical personnel of the Jackson County EMS and Jackson County Memorial Hospital, and medical professionals the state had called in to support the prosecution's contention that Madilyne had died due to abusive head trauma that occurred immediately prior to Bautista's 9-11 call at 4:33 p.m. that Tuesday, two days before the child died at St. Francis Hospital in Tulsa.

She (Bautista) was gonna call 9-11, get Madi Wentz some help and hope she wouldn't die, Booker said to the jury. She knew she had gone too far.

In regard to the OSBI interview, Booker told the jury that Bautista admitted shaking the child, because she did it.

Jones targeted the agents' interrogation of Bautista, saying, They set out to make her confess. ... What they succeeded in making Mrs. Bautista feel is that she had done something wrong.

He blasted testimony given by the state's medical witnesses and dissected the report signed by Andrew Sibley, M.D., the man who performed the autopsy on Madilyne. On the witness stand March 29, Sibley admitted that he had been the subject of investigation in October 2000 for inappropriate conduct in the autopsy room of his former employer in Pima County, Ariz., and said that his information about Bautista's confession to the crime came in a telephone call from a deputy with the Jackson County Sheriff's Department.

Outside the courthouse following the verdict Tuesday afternoon, Jones lauded the professionalism of the District Attorney's Office and law enforcement personnel in Altus and Jackson County, but said, I think the OSBI interview was unfortunate and did not help the prosecution's case.

Jones who in September 2005 successfully defended a client in Alva who had been charged with murder in the shaking death of an 11-month-old son of his girlfriend, said Tuesday, I'm glad to see that people are moving away from the idea you can shake a baby to death without an impact.

The medical evidence in Bautista's case, Jones said, was with us.

Trial Day 12 - Altus day 17ish

2006-04-05T00:17:00.000-06:00

We went to court today and the judge immediately excused the jury until 1:00 so the lawyers could talk about jury instructions since they both rested yesterday. We figured the state would call a rebuttal witness and we prepared for one, but when we got to court today, they didn't. So it was ready for closing arguments and to go to the jury after that.

So after lunch the lawyers gave their closing statements. The DA basically replayed the testimony that had been given but in kind of a bad and twisted kind of way. Say you're working on a puzzle but you discover some of the pieces are missing so you look and you find some random pieces under the couch and in a junk drawer and you cram them in and smash them in and hope they fit and they don't - his version was a lot like that. Or imagine your 4 year old brings you a lovely picture of a flower and asks you, "How do you like my horsey, mommy?" It was totally not accurate and I found myself sitting there thinking, "Jesus, if you can't even take good notes over a 12 day period, how the hell can you expect to try a murder case?" Then Stephen gave his closing. Gracious and eloquent is what his was. And more importantly, accurate. The jury was sent out to deliberate at 4:45 p.m. and we headed back to the hotel to wait it out. At 5:38 p.m. we got a call that said they had a verdict so we loaded up into his car and headed back to the Jackson County Courthouse. We arrived and everyone was assembled and the courtroom was packed. The judge spoke briefly and had the jury brought in. The judge asked them if they had a verdict and they said they did. The foreman handed the form to the court clerk, who has been so wonderful and nice to us this whole time, and she begins to read it. She states the name of the county and the case style and the case number, then she starts to read the body of the verdict. Her voice cracked and waivered part way through and I became sick to my stomach. Why was her voice sounding like that? Then I heard the words "not guilty" and there was a huge explosion of jubilation in the courtroom behind me and Melinda (the accused) broke down and we all cried. The judge had some more to say so we had to sit and wait to rejoice for a few more minutes. The family of the deceased child was allowed to leave first. Then we were. She is from a very big Hispanic Catholic family and they came from all over to support her. They were all of course hugging her and us and they were so grateful for what had been done for her. Melinda was accused of shaking a baby in her care at her daycare and it died. It died from no oxygen because it aspirated. She was initially arrested in April of last year and spent two months in jail and then when she was able to get out on bond she had to live away from her family in an apartment because DHS wouldn't allow her to live near her 18 month old because she might shake it, too. So for a year this woman hasn't been with her family and has not been able to bond with her baby but for an hour a week supervised at DHS. Tonight she got to go home and sleep in her bed and hold her baby without the suspicious eyes of a case worker and the thought of life in prison hanging over her head.

After the trial was over, her family invited us out to the house for dinner so Jill and I donned our "Property of SJ" shirts and we went. They were so nice to us and so gracious and grateful. Jill and I felt like we had a bunch of new aunts and uncles when we left. Mr. Jones was very appreciateive of the hard work we put in and he was happy with the out come of course. I thought about the long nights and the working through being sick and not being home for weeks, and I thought how small all that is compared to what this woman has gone through for the last year. She missed a year of bonding with her baby and sleeping in her own bed, not knowing if she would spend the rest of her life in prison, having the town talk about her and speculate. When we were at her home and I looked over and saw her sitting on her couch with her baby girl on her lap, it brought tears to my eyes because all we went through was worth that one moment. Jill and I talked about how believing in her made us work that much harder for her and made it all so worth it. This is why I love my job.

It's kind of surreal, really. Before the trial started, I had only physically met Melinda maybe twice. But I knew her life story and I had worked on her stuff so much that I felt like I knew her. When the trial began, I sat next to her there on the bench and held her hand and hugged her through the hard parts and cried for her and her family. I sat there and watched people try to bully her and lie about her and try to convince 12 strangers from her community that they should believe them. I left tonight feeling connected to her and her family and thinking that even though our paths may never have the chance to cross again, I know I will think of her and this day often and fondly.

We came back to the hotel room and made phone calls to spouses and friends back at the office. I told Jill we couldn't not celebrate and we needed to have at least one beer, so we went to the hotel bar and sat at a table by the wall and we very quietly celebrated the winning of our first murder trial together. I decided that we need to start a tradtion at our office that we have a party every time we win a case or settle one...

Something that was funny was one of Melinda's friends that's been there watching asked me today if I ever watched Boston Legal because Stephen reminded her of that. I told you my job was like Boston Legal.

Week 3

2006-04-03T22:09:00.000-06:00

Today marks the beginning of week 3 here in the big town. We finished up with our witnesses today. The other side has a rebuttal witness tomorrow and then hopefully it will be closing arguments and jury deliberation. I got booted from my hotel room for some jacked up reason or another - some bs about they're booked up and needed the room or some crap. So I'm bunking with Jill tonight and all our stuff is in one room along with all our makeshift office stuff. I got some pics I'll post when I get home. Kind of funny really when you look around at the craziness. Anyway - gotta go type SJ's thoughts. Interesting job I have...

Trial Day 9, Altus Day 13

2006-03-31T01:32:00.000-06:00

I saw the Dixie Chicks have a myspace account and I listened to the new song. It's called "Not Ready to Make Nice" and it's great. People got all stupid that she made that comment about being embarrassed about George W. being our president. Hello - I think I can safely say that there are probably a lot of people that feel that way and she just had the balls to say it out loud. That's the beauty of this country - we can say whatever the hell we want to. It doesn't infringe on anyone else's right - they have the right to disagree. But it's bullshit to trash someone for speaking their truth. More people should tell it like it is and quit being such namby pamby politically correct puppets. Fuck political correctness. George W. is an illiterate jackass - that's not worth sending someone death threats over. I applaud her for sticking to her guns. Maybe it didn't present a united front and maybe it could have been handled a little better, but yay for her for not backing down just because some people think she should. If you can't be true to yourself, then you probably can't be true to anyone else. Rock on Natalie.

Back to the trial - the state went all day again. They played the OSBI investigation interview wherein two OSBI agents literally hotboxed and bullied this woman for over two hours. They suck. I want to look at that bitch agent and ask her how she can look someone in the face and lie like that and how she sleeps at night. I can't wait until she gets shredded on the stand. They had their only medical expert today and I think I can safely say he was not a happy camper when he left the stand. SJ stood up when it was his turn to ask him questions and he simply said, "Is it true that you took pictures of a woman giving birth without her consent?" They guy emphatically says NO. So SJ asks him again. The other side objects and they go to the bench. They were so pissed. Then the judge ALLOWED SJ to continue with that line of questioning because it goes to impeach his credibility and they were so mad - they literally stomped back to their table and flopped in their chairs. So he goes on and says no and SJ says, "Well, did a court in Pennsylvania find that you did?" They guy says no. SJ asks him was there another ______ at this particular program in 1972 and he says, "I don't think so" and SJ says, "I didn't think so, either, Doctor." Then he asks him some more questions and ends with, "Thank you, Doctor, nice to see ya again." That doctor was so pissed when he left and the DA's table was fuming. It was too funny. About as good as yesterday when he asked the medical examiner if it wasn't true that he's ridden his Harley into the morgue to weigh it on the scales. That was also great. You would think the DA's office would have checked their people out a little better. They get so mad. Things like that are why I love this job so much. There really are some truly hilarious moments. Who knows what they jury is thinking though - hard to know. Hopefully they're seeing it all the way we are, but you never know.

Day 7563

2006-03-29T22:26:00.000-06:00

State's still going. And going.... and going.... and going.....

Still here in Altus. We've decided that we definitely don't want to have to call an ambulance while we're here or get arrested, lol. They're all gonna hate us by the time we're through if they don't already. One guy that owns the restaurant we've been to a couple of times came over to meet SJ tonight and said that he read that article and was pissed because their DA wasn't bright enough to figure out the record thing and we were. He said if you were smart enough to figure it out, how'd they miss it? Anyway - it was kind of funny. As much as the EMS people and the law enforcement people don't like us right now, SJ's the celebrity in town and he's been approached a few times since we've been here. Hearing some great stories. Missing everyone though. Today was good for us. Hopefully tomorrow will be, too.

www.altustimes.com - the one that comes out tomorrow afternoon should be really good - we opened up a can of worms about one of their experts that they didn't know and the reporter is running with it. :)

What is this, day 9? 10?

2006-03-27T18:58:00.000-06:00

I've lost track at this point and am frankly too tired to bother counting. The trial is being covered in the Altus Times which is www.altustimes.com for anyone interested in reading about what I'm doing here. Today was a Monday in every way it could be. Over slept. Court was weird today. Every time there's a glitch I worry and hope to God it's not my fault for not copying something right or something - of course it hasn't been, but I worry nonetheless. There's a lot at stake here and I can't help it but to second guess sometimes. It seems like forever since I've seen my family or the normal world and it looks like it's going to be a while yet. I had a dream the other night that all this law stuff was just too hard so I quit and went to work at a sandwich shop, but then I realized that sucked and wanted my job back. Don't know what that meant... I don't know how lawyers aren't all drunks on high blood pressure medication after some days. I need some beers and I'm not even the lawyer. Anyway - I had a break for a while so I thought I would touch base.

Day 8

2006-03-26T00:28:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm still here in Altus America. I slept in late this morning, got up, took a bath, took a nap, messed around in town for a bit, came back and worked on my new profile layout, went to Wal Mart with Jill, went to Taco Bell, and came back. Today has been unproductive, but I got some much needed rest. Tomorrow will be work, work, work.

I miss my family so much. This has been the longest week of my life. I've never been away from them for this long. Maybe a few days here and there, but never anything like this. I haven't been away from Marty for any length of time except when we were first married and I lived in Weatherford and he was in Enid. Marty - I miss you and I love you and I can't wait to snuggle with you again! Give everyone kisses for me and know that I do miss you guys more than I can say.

Days 6 & 7 - Ladies & Gentlemen, We Have Lift Off!

2006-03-24T22:49:00.000-06:00

Finally got a jury picked and both of the guys we really wanted are on it. The trial started yesterday and they called one witness and then today they called a very important one and we spent ALL day with them. It was a long day and SJ was ON! If you could high five people in the courtroom, I think Jill and I would have. There were some SMOOTH moves on our part. My job rocks. It is so cool to get to be working on a murder trial with the caliber of lawyer this man is. The judge is great. Every time we have a break or have a lull, he tells funny stories and talks about breaking out into song or something and he is so funny. He tries to make everyone feel comfortable during the tense moments and he is just cool as hell. This has been such an experience and I am grateful for it. We don't have to work tonight so Jill and I found a little local pub and ordered too many appetizers and ate a ton of peel & eat shrimp and had some beers and I took some medicine for my migraine and I am going to get to bed before 1 a.m and I can sleep all night. Back to work tomorrow, but the weekend won't be as crazy, thankfully. Anyway - I miss all you people out there in the real world. Carry on.

Day 5

2006-03-23T00:28:00.000-06:00

Guess what we didn't do today? Get a jury. Another day full of voir dire. (That's questioning of potential jury members for you lay people, lol). BUT I am hopeful we'll have one by noon tomorrow and opening statements will be given in the afternoon. We worked on some things tonight and I have a few more things to do yet. I fell today - don't know how, but scraped my knee and ripped up my pantyhose. Lovely to be in court all day with a big hole in the knee of my hose. Had a good cheeseburger for dinner at a local cafe - my favorite kind :). Jill, the other attorney working on the case, and I have a lot in common and even though we had become good friends at work, we're bonding through this and it sucks because as soon as we get done with this trial she's moving to Phoenix. I guess things are less than wonderful at our office right now. I miss my family. I'm enjoying this opportunity but I'll be glad when things get back to normal and I pray that there will be an acquital at the end of all this.
One of the funny things is that the ADA is asking the jurors if they watch legal shows or read John Grisham books and he asks them if they believe all those things really happen. Someone today said they watched Boston Legal and he made a comment about how you know that's not real, right? And I was just thinking he's obviously never worked anywhere like our office and how the people in our office don't watch Boston Legal because it's too much like the office, lol. I keep thinking that if his job as a lawyer has never provided him with a moment like they have on TV, he's missing something and I'm glad I don't work in his office, lol. I'll take our Law & Disorder any day over being mundane and nonbook like. Anyway - everyone pray they don't strike the juror we really want to keep. Seriously!

Days 3 & 4

2006-03-21T22:23:00.000-06:00

Not too much to report - still picking a jury. It resumes in the morning and hopefully we'll have one by the afternoon. I feel very disconnected from my normal life right now - kind of surreal. I'm learning a lot and getting to hear some great stories. I haven't turned on my TV at all since I've been here. Tonight has been quiet - I only have one small project tonight and then I can go to bed. Anyway - that's about it.

Trial Diary - Day 1

2006-03-19T23:58:00.000-06:00

Let me start by saying that we have had somewhat of a drought here in Oklahoma for the last several months. There has been a burn ban across most of the state as wildfires ran rampant, destroying many acres of Oklahoma land. You can drive a few miles in about any direction and see the charred remains of crops and fields. It's been so dry that my hair has been crazier and unrulier than normal. We haven't seen rain in our part of the state in a very long time. We got some snow a while back, but it only lasted about a day and wasn't enough to help with the dryness. I said all that to say that for the last two days it's been raining. It's been so nice to have rain that no one seems to mind getting wet or cold, we're just happy to have it. BUT yeah, there's always a big but... I hate driving in the rain on the highway when it's the kind where you can't really see and it's all dark outside and all the other cars are splashing everywhere. It makes me very nervous to drive in the rain.

If you've ever ridden anywhere away from Enid with me, then you more than likely know that I also despise driving in places like Oklahoma City where the traffic is crazy and there are on ramps and off ramps and exits and all that crap. And you probably also know that I have no sense of direction and I get lost very easily. Now, knowing that I have no sense of direction, I go through anxiety issues whenever I have to drive somewhere. I once ended up in Kansas trying to get back to Enid from Oklahoma City. Yes, I really did. I missed the sign to turn and went right on to Kansas. Usually when I go to Oklahoma City, it's to see a friend and once I get there she has to tell me very explicit directions to anywhere we go. If someone else goes with me, I have them drive. I hate driving in Oklahoma City I end up with a tension headache and a sore neck and an upset stomach and I'm usually shaking by the time I get to my destination. I can spend the night in a haunted prison, but you make me drive in a big city and it freaks me totally out.

So today I head out to the trial in Altus which means I have to drive through Oklahoma City. Which means I was of course worried that I would screw up somewhere in the middle of that cluster and get lost and end up in Nebraska. So I was already worried about the going through Oklahoma City part and then it starts to rain. Not a nice spring rain like we'd been having at home, but more like a freakin' monsoon. Of course it is. The one day I of all people have to drive through Oklahoma City is the day out of like 6 months or more that it decides to freakin' rain like Noah's got a boat built somewhere. I almost hydroplaned twice. I had to drive slower than normal. It basically just sucked. And Altus is four hours from Enid, so this was not a short drive in a drizzle, either.

Anyway I get to the hotel and I am in Room 114. Nowhere near Jill or Mr. Jones. But I'm near the vending area so that's cool. Then I realize I am the only room in this area. The other rooms are a) Housekeeping and b) Laundry. I laid down on my bed for a minute when I got in there and I was lulled to sleep for a minute by the constant washer and dryer noises on the other side of my wall. Then there are the people somewhere near me that sound like they're having an after Motley Crue concert party or something in there. I feel a little like I'm in the servant's quarters. I go see Jill's room and there's some concern because her room connects to another one and Mr. Jones had specifically asked for non-connecting rooms because of the nature of our work. We're sitting there looking at the door that goes to the other room and we're thinking how convenient it would be for me to be in that room so we could work easier. So she picks up the phone and calls the front desk and proceeds to ask if there's any way we could switch rooms with that guy where I got the room that connected to hers and he could have my room. Turns out he's been here since January and will be here until May because he's in the Air Force and is stationed here for a few months. They say no, they won't ask him to move. So Jill decides she will ask him to move and she calls Mr. Jones to tell him the plan. He gives her the go ahead. So the next thing I know, she is taking her hair down and brushing it out and putting on lipstick so she can go talk to this guy. So we fluff up a bit and head next door. There's a really cute guy named Carlos staying there and Jill tells him we'll be working late nights and it will be loud and that we're here helping a fellow Air Force family out and that we could really use his room and then she tells him we'll pay him $100 cash for each week, so $200, if he'll switch rooms with me. He says sure. So we're switching rooms tomorrow at noon.

We went to tell Mr. Jones about Jill using her womanly wiles to get the guy to switch rooms and he was pleased that we got the room. I told him about my plan to get t-shirts made that said "Property of Jones, Otjen, Davis, Nixon, & Juhl". He laughed and said we should also get ones that say "I came to Altus for a murder trial and all I got was this stinkin' t-shirt." Tomorrow I find a t-shirt place

Then I set off to enjoy a tasty burger from Whataburger because we don't have one and it was pretty good. When I checked in they gave me two coupons for free beverages sodas or draught beers from the lounge. Jill & I took them in and each had a beer and then retired to our separate (until tomorrow) rooms for the night. So that's Day 1. I'm sure tomorrow will be filled with work type stuff and last minute preparations.

Day 2 - Sunday - I get up to go to breakfast with Jill and Stephen at Denny's. Then back to the hotel for some planning. We get our assignments and return to the rooms to work. Carlos calls and the hotel won't let him switch rooms, so I'm having to run to Jill's room any time I need something from the file. Wouldn't be so bad except it's freezing and windy and I have to go outside to get to her room. I woke up with a sore throat and then started with the congestion and it seems like a small fever. I got some DayQuil, some vitamin C, and some garlic tablets to try to fight it off.

Worked all day on various motions and stuff to file in the morning before they start jury selection. Went to dinner with Mr. Jones, Jill, and our jury consultant at Applebee's and came back to meet with Mr. Jones and Jill some more and finished up some work around 10:30 tonight. Then I headed to Wal Mart for NyQuil and orange juice and cough drops. I've been trying to catch up on emails and phone calls this evening and I am now going to take some NyQuil and go to bed.

There's an author that lives here in Altus that writes a series of stories about a town called Junebug, Oklahoma 70666 - Where Hell comes sweeping down the plains... His stuff is pretty entertaining and I am hoping to get a hold of him while I'm here to write about him for OPEN and see about maybe putting some of his stories as a series in the magazine. He teaches at the high school and I'm going to try to track him down while I'm here. Wish me luck :)

I also found out the Vernon is only 40 miles from here and they have two tattoo shops... SO I might have to go check that out... Nothing set in stone though so no freaking out. (Marty :)) I've wanted one for a long time and I know what I want, but I don't know if I'll go through with it or not.

My dad's best friend since he was a kid died this week and that really sucks. Lee was a great friend of our family and I've always liked him a lot. He was working on illustrating my Halloween story for me. I'm missing the funeral because I'm in Altus and as much as I hate funerals, I'm sorry I'm missing it. I'm sad for my dad because they were really close and have been best friends for years. He was only about 59ish. He will be missed.

Anyway - if I want to be worth a hoot tomorrow, I need to go to bed. More later...

Property Of...

2006-03-13T22:03:00.000-06:00

I am now and for at least the next three weeks of my life the property of the law firm of Stephen Jones, kinda like when you join the Army. I'm thinking about getting one of those T-shirts, lol. This whole thing is getting a little daunting. Every time we talk about it they make it sound like it could be longer than we planned. I've never been away from Marty or the kids for more than a few days at a time, let alone two weeks. Can't hang out - got too much to do, but I needed a quick break. I was up til 4 this morning working on stuff and I am zapped, but the show must go on...

Enid Legal

2006-03-09T21:57:00.000-06:00

Well. I don't even know if I can really convey the weirdness that is my job. I have likened it to Boston Legal before, but I think it might be even weirder than that. We have joked that we could have a reality show and call it Law and Disorder. My boss is an incredibly intelligent and interesting person. He expects the best from everyone that works here, as he should, he has a very huge reputation. He also has a bit of a temper when things don't go just right. Without going into the whole schmear, suffice it to say that on Tuesday we had a bit of a falling out over a document I prepared. He thought it was wrong, and I thought it was right because I used the form book to do it. After much consternation, he looked at where I got it and he found that the book was wrong, not me, and he apologized. Then yesterday he brought me flowers. Some people were bug eyed because it's rare to see an apology let alone something like flowers. They were like, Damn, he musta been really bad, lol. A conversation we had later yesterday went as follows:
"Did you like your flowers?"
"Yes, they were beautiful."
"I stopped at the cemetery and picked them up."
"Nice."
"Did you tell everyone today how much you like working here?"
"I tell people that every day."
"Why do you lie?"
Then later he swore he gave me a tape to do and we couldn't find it. Looked all over, called people on their cell phones, everything. Later he shows up with it and I ask where it was and he said, "On your desk" and I said, "Why do you lie?"
He said, "You were right yesterday. You were right today. If you're right tomorrow, you're fired."
You may not find this as amusing as I do. It's never a dull moment at work and unless you've witnessed it, you just won't get it. Even through the hard moments I love my job because I learn so much there. It is definitely the most interesting place I've ever worked. I've been working on helping them (the boss and another attorney) get ready for a big murder trial coming up that I will get to go assist with. It's out of town and we'll be gone about 11 days or so. I'm excited because it will be a great experience but it's also going to be a strain for me to be gone that long from my family. Anyway - that's why I haven't been saying much, I've been super busy at work.

Religion

2006-02-16T22:54:00.000-06:00

Religious fanatics piss me off. Apparently there are churches that encourage "demonic influence removal". They don't think you should have anything with demonic influence in your home such as Harry Potter books, A Series of Unfortunate events books, Spongebob movies (Really? Spongebob?), and the list goes on and on even to include historical artifacts. These people are ate up with the dumbass. I'm sorry - if you don't have the wherewithal to separate fantasy from reality and you honestly think that Harry Potter is going to make you have evil thoughts and it's a demonic influence, then you are in serious need of a mental health evaluation. It's FICTION, people. It's to escape reality for a minute or two. You're not supposed to take it all literally. They say it has to do with witchcraft. Um yeah - Harry Potter goes to a school to learn to be a witch. OK. But what they do not tell you is that they don't know a thing about what they call "witchcraft". Witchcraft, when practiced by people that really practice it, is not evil, scary, or anything else dark or bad. When practiced responsibly and correctly, it is about doing good - their freakin' motto is "And Harm Ye None". How is that bad?? It isn't. So then they counter that with well, they don't believe in God. Um, yeah, they do, just not in the same way they do. Then they counter, well, they don't accept Jesus as their savior. They might be right - a lot of alternative religions don't. Jewish people don't but you don't see these fanatics screaming "witchcraft" at Jewish people. The deal is, there were a lot of religions that existed before Christianity and people were getting along fine. You can't tell me everyone before Jesus went to hell. Who the hell do they think they are to be so elite and the only ones that could possibly be right? Because the Bible told them so. OK. Who was it that came in and literally massacred people because they didn't follow their religion, i.e. the Crusades? Fanatic Christians. Who was responsible for the Inquisition? Fanatic Christians. Who was responsible for the burning of several innocent women accused of being witches? Fanatic Christians. Don't even get me started on Halloween, lol.
The stupidest thing is that these people don't even have a clue and are totally misinformed about their "enemy". The people they are damning to hell don't even believe in hell. They believe in evil, sure, but they believe it comes to you when you have done something to deserve it. They believe you should take responsibilty for your own actions. Boy, that's a fucked up religion if I ever heard of one - responsibility for yourself? What? We can't have that. People running around all willy nilly bein' responsible - what would we do?
ANYTHING done irresponsibly can end with bad or evil results - even Christianity. These people always seem to forget that Bible verse that says, "Judge not lest ye be judged." They take the Bible so literally yet they forget that verse every time. Why don't they take THAT literally? Because that would fuck up their whole jacked up agenda. I guess it's OK to judge people that aren't like them in their eyes. The Bible also says that hate in the eyes of God is the same as murder. Yet they hate on a regular basis. I don't understand how a religion that claims to be about unconditional love and peace can act so horridly all the time. I guess they figure that God loves unconditionally so much that he does it enough for all of them so they don't have to. Fucking hypocrites.

Speakin' of Hookers, I am now an ordained Reverand and you must address me as such. Amen.

2005-12-13T22:54:00.000-06:00

So my friend, Matt, became a man of the cloth and I followed in his footsteps as he has long been a source of inspiration and spiritual leadership for my troubled soul. You, too, can become an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church, which bases its belief system on two things: promote the freedom of religion and do what's right. I do that anyway so I might as well be a Reverand. Now I can perform weddings. How scary is that? Tonya, if you ever remarry, can I marry you? I mean do the ceremony, not actually marry you. I can even start my own church now if I want to. I even got a certificate. I think I might call it The First Church of the Sisterhood of the Hoochie Koochie Tribe.

Speakin' of Hookers, Jesus didn't get an invitation...

2005-12-09T23:02:00.000-06:00

OK, I've gotten this email about three times called A Letter From Jesus. It's supposed to be a letter saying how everyone celebrates his birthday but he doesn't get invited and how Santa is treated like the guest of honor, blah blah blah. BULLSHIT. I "get" what the gist of it is - that people tend to forget the real reason behind Christmas. But really folks, people that don't accept Jesus don't really celebrate his birth. Whatever they are celebrating is something different. People that do accept him, know what Christmas is about and thank you, but I don't need any more guilt tripping emails that reprimand me for not inviting Jesus to Christmas. If he showed up at Christmas Dinner, I can guarantee you I'd share my turkey.

Speakin' of Hookers, who the hell opened the window in the bathroom?

2005-12-08T14:08:00.000-06:00

If you read my previous rant about the bathroon issue at work, you might recall that our bathrooms are in the stairwells between floors. They have heaters in them but they are not air conditioned that I can recall. Well, it's December in Oklahoma and just to give you a clue as to how cold it is here right now, last night the windchill was -3. It's COLD. Someone opened the window in the bathroom so now it's cold in there, too. HEY - I don't want to sit on an ice cold toilet seat. If you stunk it up use the spray, don't open the freakin' window. That is all. Carry on.

Speakin' of Hookers... Who the hell doesn't have turkey for Thanksgiving?

2005-11-26T23:03:00.000-06:00

I just have to say this about Thanksgiving.
Yeah, yeah, I'm thankful for everything I have. Really I am. But I LOVE Thanksgiving dinner - it is my favorite dinner ever and I look forward to it all year long. This year I concede to go to my husband's family's house in Stillwater for Thanksgiving dinner so the kids could play with the cousins we see about 3 times a year. We get there and I am starving because I passed up breakfast because I knew I would soon be gorging myself on turkey & dressing. We get ready to eat and his aunt says as we are lining up, "I guess you see we don't have turkey. We jsut aren't big turkey eaters and we didn't really want any traditional Thanksgiving food - we'd all rather have a nice pork roast."
(Pause for a moment to envision my face at this point trying to maintain my sanity for the sake of my marriage)
Are you fucking kidding me??? Who the fuck doesn't eat turkey on Thanksgiving? I've been in this family for 14 years and we have never not had a turkey. I was worried that there would be eggs in the gravy because normally his aunt makes this giblet gravy that has hard boiled eggs in it and it really grosses me out - especially with my whole gravy thing, you know. Who the hell puts eggs in gravy. Well, I sure as hell didn't have to worry about this year. No sir, no eggs in this gravy. Because there wasn't a fucking turkey to get the giblets from. Fuck around. I ate a smattering of roasted potatoes and carrots and a little bit of meat to make a good show - I hate pork roast by the way.
When we got in the car later to go to my mom's, where they had ALL the good Thanksgiving Day food and my mom is a fabulous cook, I told my husband, "People who don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving no longer get top billing. Ever." So when we got to my mom's everyone was already gone and I had to have a microwaved plate of leftovers. It was good but just not quite the same. I am still pissed and I have a feeling this one will last a long time. Damn no turkey eatin' people.

And yet another dumbass finds their way into my life...

2005-11-16T21:12:00.000-06:00

So I requested some medical records from a medical provider and they call yesterday and gripe at the girl that answered the phone, telling her we didn't even provide them with a return address or anything. Um.... it's probably right there where you got the phone number, dumbass, you know, right there - that big thing across the top of the letter called the letterhead. How do people really live being this freakin' stupid?

stupid people and why the fuck don't people talk right?

2005-11-16T00:21:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I want to claw my eyes out because some people are so endlessly stupid I can barely handle it. Like the guy that tells me I am using the word "theory" incorrectly and I should be using the word "hypothesis" - which is NOT true because I know what the fuck I was talking about - and then he turns around and says "every since". Are you fucking kidding me? You can tell me all about theories and hypotheses and the scientific method (which he called model - but whatever) but then you really say "every since"? It's EVER since, Fucko! And while we're at it, "supposebly" is not a word. It's "supposedly" and a lot is two words - a and lot, not alot. Really, look it up. The red squiggly line means you spelled it wrong, brainiac. People should not talk shit in type when they can't spell or they have no command of the King's language because their point is totally lost on me because all I can think of is how dumb they look by saying "every since".

turnabout's fair play

2005-11-09T17:47:00.000-06:00

scratch mine, i'll scrath yours. but if you don't scrath mine because you don't have time then you fuck around all day, not only will i not scratch yours, i'll poke your fucking eyes out. carry on.

Sheesh

2005-11-04T16:40:00.000-06:00

Jesus H. Christ. Here's what I have to do to go to the bathroom at work. I have to go out one door and cross the hall to a locked door where I then have to punch in a code to open it. I have to get the key and tell the receptionist where I am going then walk down a hall through another door and up a flight of stairs to another door that I have to use the key to unlock. Then I have to go back down, punch in the code again, and return the key and walk all the way around the entire office to get back to my desk which is right by the first door, but I can't get back in that door because it locks. FUCK. I wait til I'm about to burst because it's such a fucking ordeal to go to the goddamned bathroom. Today I asked if I could just have a damn key so I could go to the bathroom and it was met with questioning - I explained that it is retarded to have to go through so much just to freakin pee. They said, "well, the receptionist has to know all the time where everyone is, that's why the key is by her desk" - OK - I can buzz her on the phone like when she does us. I said, "Jesus, I'm not in fucking Kindergarten!" And got a blank stare. I had to call in back-up on the topic and when someone else agreed with me, I got an, "OK, I can get you a key." Sheesh. Why does everything in this place require a whole big conversation? I swear some days I just want to bang my head on a brick wall because I would get further.