Shitty Blog Survivor - Task 1

That damned Jeckles - He asked if we wanted to take a little boat trip and we blindly jumped right in for a little afternoon jaunt. I should have known we were doomed when he kept singing that damned Gilligan's Island song. What's more, it's stuck in my head now and I can't quit thinking about it. Professor and Mary Ann...Here on Gilligan's Isle....
So we're here on this island now and frankly, I'm a little nervous. Monty was looking at me like a juicy steak and a big baked potato with butter dripping down the sides so I had to hide. We haven't even been here that long - sheesh, you'd think she wouldn't be starving quite yet.
I already know I'm gonna have to make friends with Mike because he knows how to fish and stuff.
We haven't seen Jeckles since we got here. I'm pretty certain he's found my trunk full of candy bars and Dr. Peppers and is hiding somewhere, giggling like a little girl.
Anyhoo - the first task is to come up with a new Shitty Blog slogan. I have until Tuesday. I'm sitting up in a coconut tree so these rat bastards can't cheat off me.
That cunt, Professor Utopia, is down there building some kind of hot tub. I may have to kiss her ass some, too. But I think she may have used her mind reading thing she built from some sticks and palm fronds because she used "Shitty Blogs Club: Fuck off, we don't like you." I was going to use Shitty Blog Club: Fuck you. But now I'll have to come up with something better. Dammit.
I'm not so good at all this ass kissing, so I maybe I should figure out what I could trade. I managed to retrieve several bottles of rum and hid them last night when everyone went to sleep.
I don't even know all these people. There's some dude with a murse (a man purse for you lay people). He seems OK so far. But you know what they say about dudes with murses - there might be a head in there.
There's this one chic, Nat, I think I might like - she's got great taste in music and wears flowers in her hair. I hope she stays away from that funny plant I saw in the jungle earlier...
Sparky just mills about all the time, sometimes stopping to pick his toes. Not sure what's up with him.
Chad - pretty sure I could win him with some rum. He seems a little cocky, but likes to get his drink on, so we'll see.
I met a girl named Rose and I really like her - we um, have a lot in common. Gotta be careful though. Sometimes the nice ones are the meanest.
Then there's Yummy. She seems sweet, too, but I heard she likes to get naked and sing, so we'll see how this plays out.
I think my slogan will be:

Shitty Blogs Club: We think we're hot shit on a silver platter, but we're really cold boogers on a paper plate.

I know. I know. But don't vote me off just yet...