So I've been wrestling with a really big decision for the last few weeks. As some of you know, I work at a law firm. Kind of a big deal law firm. I've loved working there because a) my boss is really a fascinating person b) I've been able to work on some incredibly cool cases, including assisting in a murder trial that we won c) most of the people here are pretty nice d) and I've made more money this last year than I ever have. But there's also the thing that annoys me the most - DRAMA. Of course, Stephen is a high drama person, so it can't really be avoided. But aside from the normal drama that surrounds him, everything in this office is a freakin' ordeal. Like the IT guy says to me, "Jesus, why does it have to take 4 freakin' days to buy a backup printer?" Exactly. Why does it? And I can't even count how many times I've come back from lunch or something and gotten this one, "Just a head's up, So and So is really mad about ... (insert something I did, didn't do, was perceived to have done, might have done three years ago)." THAT is the thing I hate the most. Why does everything have to be a big freakin' ISSUE? Like yesterday, someone asked me to go to the courthouse and get a couple of old files. I tell them that because they are so old, they will likely not be at the courthouse and they will probably have to go get them from storage. I also tell them that since one of them is a criminal file, they won't let me check it out, but I can make copies of it. So thinking that was all clear, I go over to the courthouse to take care of it. As I thought, they were not there and I made arrangements with the court clerk to call me when they got their hands on them. She called a while later and said they had them. Well, I had some other things that needed to be taken over to the courthouse, so I sent very detailed instructions with our runner to pick them up, make the copies, etc. Then I went to lunch. When I got back I got a "head's up" warning that the person that needed it was mad that I had someone else do it and that I didn't do it when I was the one told to. UM... OK, why does it matter who makes freakin' copies? I took care of securing the right files, which was the big deal part of it anyway. That is so stupid to me! And it's like that here all the time.
So the decision I have been wrestling with is whether to stay here or go with one of the attorneys that's leaving to open her own office. Who is also one of my best friends. Who is incredibly fun and laid back and will undoubtedly pipe 80's music through the office at all times. Who really wants me to go.
The struggle is because it's scary because as crazy as this place is, my paycheck is stable. Stephen had a long talk with me the other day telling me how much he thought of me, telling me what a great job I did, etc. and that he would really like to see me stay. That meant a lot to me to have him say those things. But I don't know that that's enough because it doesn't really make up for the knots in the stomach every other day because you never know when you're gonna piss someone off.
A friend that is rather intuitive that had no idea about any of this, let's call her Pyschic Pearl, said she was sensing that I wasn't very happy in this office and that I should go with the other person where I would be more in charge and the atmosphere would be a lot more laid back. She also said some other things that were really right on that she knew nothing about, so...
After I talked with him the other day, I was leaning toward staying. After I got another "somebody's mad at you" I remembered why I wanted to leave. I was ready to put the names in a hat and just pick one or have them stand in the hall and draw straws. I just wish I could make a damned decision so I could sleep well again.
So the decision I have been wrestling with is whether to stay here or go with one of the attorneys that's leaving to open her own office. Who is also one of my best friends. Who is incredibly fun and laid back and will undoubtedly pipe 80's music through the office at all times. Who really wants me to go.
The struggle is because it's scary because as crazy as this place is, my paycheck is stable. Stephen had a long talk with me the other day telling me how much he thought of me, telling me what a great job I did, etc. and that he would really like to see me stay. That meant a lot to me to have him say those things. But I don't know that that's enough because it doesn't really make up for the knots in the stomach every other day because you never know when you're gonna piss someone off.
A friend that is rather intuitive that had no idea about any of this, let's call her Pyschic Pearl, said she was sensing that I wasn't very happy in this office and that I should go with the other person where I would be more in charge and the atmosphere would be a lot more laid back. She also said some other things that were really right on that she knew nothing about, so...
After I talked with him the other day, I was leaning toward staying. After I got another "somebody's mad at you" I remembered why I wanted to leave. I was ready to put the names in a hat and just pick one or have them stand in the hall and draw straws. I just wish I could make a damned decision so I could sleep well again.
6 comments:
It is great that Mr. Jones appreciates you and has a great deal of respect for you. It is unfortunate, however, as in the situation that I was previously in that it cannot be shown in the culture of the workplace. At the end of the day, you are the one that has to get up and go to work everyday. Change is very scary and is not always godd just for the sake of change. It is also possible that when faced with increased resonsibilities this person you would be leaving to work with may change in the way she handles herself. This change could be good or bad......
I'm not gonna tell what to do either way, but from the tone of your writings it sounds like you've already made the decision.....
Here are the things you might consider in order to make a decision: What does your husband want you to do? Is the new pay offer and benefits going to commensurate with what already exists? If not, then can your family exist within the means of the difference? What is your stress level on a daily basis on a scale of 1 to 10? Do you actually thrive on the stress? Will this have any affect on the personal relationship that exists between you and your friend? This is just a starting point. Answer these questions honestly and in writing on paper. Read over them a few times and I bet you will be able to make a decision, or at least work your way to a closer answer.
Marty wants me to be happy. The pay is about the same, maybe a smidge more. Benefits - same. Stress level - it depends on the day and everyone else's mood. If it's a good day, it's not bad at all. If it's a bad day, I get physically ill with blood pressure and headache problems, not to mention the countless stomach aches I've had. This isn't the good gotta meet a deadline kind of stree - I do thrive on that kind. This is the bad, wait til your dad gets home kind of stress. I don't think it would effect the friendship, we are very good at separating work and personal stuff. I don't want change just for the sake of something new - in fact, change makes me a little edgy, that's why I've been riding the fence so much. There are pros and cons to both sides, I've thought of them continuously for the last couple of weeks.
change is hard. much harder than it looks. - em
ps. miss u on myspace
I can certainly see your dilemna. It really comes down to how you feel about your work and what makes sense for you and your family.
I wish you the best as you ponder your decision.
Having seen you so stressed and not in the good way, I say RUN and run fast!
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