Houdini MacGuyver Strikes Again

So a trip to Wal Mart last night that should have only lasted 45 minutes ended up being almost two hours. My two year old, Houdini MacGuyver, will not stay in a shopping cart, no matter how tight I cinch up those crappy "belts". Anyway - we're in the shoe department and he managaes to get out. He puts on a pair of women's black high heels and runs off. I chase after him and he's out in the middle now where all the people are and they are laughing so of course he runs more. I am literally running after him. I have to admit, it was pretty funny. The first time. I get him back to the basket and put him back in and turn around and he does it again. More laughing by new people. I once again retain him. I put him in the basket and put up the shoes and he gets out AGAIN, but this time I can't hear him because he's not clomping in the shoes. So I run after him and find him several aisles over. I am freaking worn out by now as I have been taking things away from him and returning things to shelves as he pulls them off for quite a while at this point.

So about 5 minutes later, there's an announcement over the PA system: "Parents, please make sure your children are buckled securely in the shopping cart." I was like, OH NO YOU DIN'T. So we continue shopping and then my 7 year old comes out of the bathroom bleeding - she caught her toe under the bathroom door and ripped her toenail, so that was a new trauma. We get up to the checkout and I tell the lady, "You know, that announcement about parents keeping their kids buckled up is retarded when your carts suck. These jankey ass belts aren't going to keep a two year old in - he can get out of that in no time. It's hard enough to have to deal with that and then when someone comes on the PA system telling you to keep your kid in the cart, it's insulting. It's not like we let them run wild and enjoy it. I have been here two hours because I've had to keep chasing him because he gets out and I don't need some Wal Mart person telling me to keep him in the cart - if they could figure out how to do it, I would love nothing more than to do just that." She just looked at me and said, "I'll mention it to them." I get so sick of people acting like it's such a fucking inconvenience to them to have a two year old in their presence. HELLO, he's TWO. If I could keep him in a cart and keep him from screaming bloody murder, I would be more than happy to - freaking dumbass people think I enjoy him acting like a lunatic? He doesn't act like that at home and he's good when we go out to eat and he doesn't do that with his dad, so it's not like he's bad - he's actually very good. He apparently just doesn't like shopping so much, lol. I realize that children are expected to behave in public and my kids are well behaved and they aren't all snotty nosed - you know the kind, the ones with snot running out their nose to their top lip and it has dirt in it and they aren't wearing shoes and it looks like they used that shirt for a napkin for their last 47 meals and they grunt because they can't speak intelligently because their parents are neanderthals - at least we're not like that, so get off my ass.

Boycott Chili's

So yesterday I go to get gas at the quick shop up the street and it happens that there's a four car wreck at the intersection. I get my gas, pull up to the store to go in and pay, and when I come out, there's all this traffic being re-routed through the parking lot. That was annoying enough, then this person stops and then this other guy pulls up next to her and they start freaking chatting. There are at least 3 of us trying to back out and it just ain't happening. We get out and stand there, thinking they would figure out to move. Nope. They continue to block up the whole goddamned parking lot. People are having to go around them and we can't get out at all. Finally, after I had been there for a long time (I was there at least 15 minutes), I holler, "Hey, can you guys please move so we can get out?" This jackass gets an attitude with me and says, "Can you wait a minute?" I say, "No. I've been waiting and I have to be somewhere right now." I had to get to dance to pick up my daughter, who was waiting on me at this point. So then he proceeds to call me a bitch and all kinds of stuff and peels out like a dumbass, like I offended him. FUCKER. Don't block a whole freakin' parking lot and then get mad because someone asks you to move. I even said PLEASE, motherfucker.

THEN - we were meeting some people for a going away dinner for a family that's friends of ours that is moving. She had called CHILI's in the afternoon and told them we'd have a big group and could we have a table that evening around 7:30 or 8. They say yes. So they get there a little before 7:30 and we get there a little before 8. They're still waiting when I get there and it turns out there's another group at the table where we're going to sit. They've received their checks and they're done eating. They've been there since 5. They never make any motions of leaving. Finally, at almost 8:30, we start talking to the hostess and she's sort of apologetic, but not really. She says they might be able to seat us over there - where there was definitely not room, we say no, that won't work. I ask her, "Did you mention to them that there's another party waiting for that table? I mean, they've been here for three and a half hours." She says, "We're not really allowed to do that." I say, "But you're allowed to make us wait for over an hour when someone called today to reserve the table?" Basically, yes. So one of the guys asks to see the manager, who takes his sweet time getting there. He tells him about the situation and the manager says they can split us up and my friend says, "No. We're here for a going away party, we're not splitting up." The manager says we can continue to wait or get split up, and they ask him would you rather give up all this money you're about to make than ask the people that have already paid to move, he doesn't care, so we leave. We go next door to Applebee's and explain what happened and they immediately start getting a place ready and take our drink orders while we wait. We get seated and they bring us several orders of free appetizers since we waited so long at Chili's. Then we proceeded to be treated very well as we racked up a $350 tab for the whole group plus a $50 tip for the waitress. We then went back to Chili's, asked to see the manager, and when he arrived, Justin handed him the receipt (that was really long) and says, "They're having a training seminar next door on how to accommodate people." And he just says, "Um, thanks." And we walk out. CHILI'S SUCKS ASS.

On another note, my carpet is getting cleaned today - woo hoo! Today is the last day of school so I get some more sleep time - woo hoo! And I leave for Kentucky tomorrow for a spectacular ghost hunting experience - woo hoo! And then we have a new person to watch our kids starting next week and I am really looking forward to some changes there - woo hoo! And the float trip is coming up - woo hoo! And Taylor won American Idol - woo hoo! And so far today, I haven't encountered any assholes - woo hoo!

Some People Suck

As most of you know, I have four kids. The oldest one is 9 and the youngest one is 2 and he's a BOY. My husband works two jobs and I work full time and today he helped a friend at his farm so he went straight there from his regular job. The only time I get to spend with my kids is evenings and weekends and if I have to do anything when he's gone, they have to go with me. I enjoy it usually, but the BOY is hard to deal with - he hates shopping. He climbs out of the cart, he empties my purse, he kicks his shoes off, he screams, just generally actslike an idiot sometimes. Today was one of those days. We were in Penney's waiting for someone to help us with some shoes and these people were talking about how they couldn't believe people would bring all these kids shopping. And they weren't even doing anything except Wyatt, who was just being loud. I would LOVE to be able to shop without that going on, but do you think those people would let me drop them off at their place so I wouldn't annoy the general public with my kids? Fuckers. Then we were at Ross and he was truly being a pain. I took something away from him and he started crying really loud. This BITCH says to me with this crunched up look of disgust on her face, "Do something with that child, he's really hurting my ears." I looked at her completely dumbfounded and said, "Are you kidding me? He's 2! I can't make him stop crying." She gave me yet another shitty look and I just said, "Grow up," and walked away. What a freaking cunt. HELLO - if I could figure out how to keep a 2 year old from screeching at a department store, I'm sure I'd be a damn site wealthier than I am today. The other three children were being well behaved so it's not like they were all being stupid & unruly. I just thought she was an idiot and I was not in the mood for any more bullshit than I was already dealing with. It seriously was a good thing she didn't push it any further or I probably would have been thrown out of the store because I was just in one of those moods. Like I freakin' enjoy for my child to be a screaming lunatic in the store - yeah, I dig it. I wish for it every time we leave the house. Freaking dumbass woman. I hope tomorrow she's in church or a restaurant and one of her kids just acts like a total idiot and embarasses the shit out of her. Or better yet, shoplifts and gets caught. It would serve her right. Stupid bitch.